#i got tickets to see these guys on the other side of the country soon and i am so stoked
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emo-and-emo-adjacent · 1 year ago
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Oh, in Pine Point, it's deteriorating And your memory started fading So you called to let me know You said, "It seems like forever Since we've seen each other Where does the time go?"
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leilakisakabiri · 1 year ago
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Spanish Boy (Gavi)
Summary: You and Gavi attend a Chelsea game and he think’s you’re a little too into the game, or more specifically number 11.
Warning(s): None
A/N: Please send in requests if you have any! Guys I wanted to make this angsty but it just ended up being fluff like usual. Oh well. 
Word Count: [1735]
Masterlist
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“Ahh I’m so excited I can’t believe I finally get to see them play.”
Gavi grinned in the seat beside you, bumping your shoulder. 
“I’m glad you get to see them, but to be honest they’re shit this season.” 
You gasped offended, “Ok Gavi not everyone has to win La Liga to be considered good.” 
“They don’t even play in that league!�� He argued. 
You rolled your eyes, “Whatever, UEFA, basically the same thing, just different clubs.” 
He narrowed his eyes at you, “You sure you’re a Chelsea fan, or are you just going to see who I think you wanna see?” 
The two of you were currently driving to the Chelsea game happening in London. You had surprised Gavi with tickets last week and while at first he was just as excited as you, his excitement had quickly turned to annoyance once he realized just exactly why you were so intent on going to the game. 
He was sure you didn’t even care about Chelsea, more interested in supporting the player with the number 11 stitched on his jersey. 
He had walked in on you and your friend talking about said player just a few days ago.
Your friend had been saying how you were so lucky, and how hot he was, and you had just been giggling along. 
Gavi had backed out slowly from the kitchen once he heard your conversation, not wanting to intrude, and honestly a little hurt. 
Since then, his excitement had diminished immensely and now he was hating himself for scheduling a private tour of the stadium before the game started. 
“We’re here.” You said excitedly, looking out the window to see the large stadium come into view. 
Although you had traveled quite a bit to support Gavi at his games, the sheer size of some of the stadiums still took your breath away. You couldn’t believe that something that big was made for people. 
The driver took you to the underground entrance to give you some privacy from the fans that had already started congregating at the stadium entrance, counting down the minutes till the gates opened. 
“Ok we have two hours before the game starts. Let’s go get the tour.” Gavi said once the two of you had gotten out of the car, walking towards the entrance. 
You pulled his hand as he walked forward, stopping him, “Thank you Gavi. Really. This means a lot.” You said sincerely. 
The boy smiled at you, “No problem.” 
Once you walked into the building you were even more awestruck, the fangirl side of you taking over. 
You had grown up in a football household, meaning that every Saturday morning your TV would be playing various matches happening around the country. 
You had seen this stadium so many times on the TV when you were little, but now standing inside it, the Chelease logo apparent in everything, it was so surreal. 
You were pulled out of your thoughts when you heard Gavi greet someone, “Enzo how have you been?” 
You had to physically stop your mouth from dropping open. 
Enzo Fernandez was standing in front of you, and apparently Gavi knew him. 
You finally found your voice, “You guys know each other?” 
Enzo nodded, “Yah we met each other back at the World Cup.” 
Gavi nodded affirmatively.  
“Anyways let me show you guys around real quick.” Enzo spoke, gesturing for the two of you to follow him. 
“Ok, but don’t you have to get ready?” You asked him. 
He shrugged his shoulders, giving you a grin, “Eh, 20 minutes won’t hurt anyone.” 
You laughed at his answer, wishing you could take pictures of everything as he showed the two of you around. 
You finally got to the tunnels, and he pointed to just around the corner, “Over there is the locker rooms. I would show you, but the guys will probably be here soon.” 
“Oh, don’t worry about. No problem at all. We should probably get out there anyway.” You reassured him, waiting as Gavi said goodbye. 
You had just turned around you when you felt a body collide with yours. Hands reached out to grab you, stopping your fall. You looked up once the world stopped spinning, coming face to face with a very apologetic player. 
“Eu sinto muito linda.” He spoke, reaching up to pull off his headphones, eyes focused on you. (I’m so sorry beautiful)
“Sem problemas.” You said softly, still trying to gather your bearings. (No problem)
You saw his eyes light up, “You speak Portuguese?”
You were about to respond when you heard someone clear their throat behind you. 
You mentally hit yourself. 
You looked over your shoulder to see Gavi come to stand beside you. 
“Joao.” Gavi spoke, his voice coming out harsher than needed. 
“Gavi.” Joao replied, voice taking on a similar tone. 
You looked between the boys. It was no surprise that they weren’t exactly friends. Joao used to play for Atletico Madrid, one of Barca’s biggest rivals. The two had problems on the field long before you, and whatever stand off they where having now. 
“Well enjoy the game.” Joao finally said, moving past you. 
You gave Gavi a look telling him to play nice as well. 
His lips remained in a firm line but he let out a small, “Thanks.” 
You had just started walking again when you heard Joao call out, “What’s your name?” 
You turned back, puzzled if he was talking to you, but by the way he was making direct eye contact with you, you guessed he was, “Y/n?” You said, but it came out more as a question. 
He nodded, a smile playing on his lips, “I’ll remember that.” 
You felt Gavi stiffen next to you but he didn’t say anything. You could see the veins on his arm jut out as he balled his hand into a fist. 
You were both silent as you walked to your seats. 
Finally, you couldn’t take it anymore. You tried to break the silence with a lame joke, “So that was kinda intense back there huh?” 
You saw Gavi give you a glare before he turned back, focusing his attention on the field. 
“Oh c’mon now you’re ignoring me?” You asked. 
He didn’t answer. 
“The games not even going on. You’re literally staring at grass.” You huffed, trying to get him to break. 
He hummed in response, but still no words. 
“Did I do something?” 
Again nothing.
“Ok so I did do something?” You questioned. 
Silence. 
“Ok I’m taking your silence as a yes.” You continued. 
Nothing. 
“Bro I really feel like this is one sided.” You muttered. 
“Did you just call me bro?” Gavi questioned finally breaking his silence. 
You let out a cheer, lifting your arms in the air, “Hooray, he’s finally talking to me, and it only took me calling him bro to respond. How sweet is he?” 
He glared at you again not appreciating your sarcasm, “You know why I’m mad.” 
“But I don’t. So if you could just tell me.” You dragged out, leaning your head on his shoulder. 
He turned to look at you and suddenly your faces were centimeters apart. You couldn’t focus on what he was saying too consumed memorizing the pattern of the freckles that were scattered across his nose, so light that if you weren’t standing close enough you would miss them. 
“Are you even listening to me?” He asked getting frustrated again. 
You chastised yourself, you really needed to start paying more attention. 
“Sorry I got distracted.” 
“Oh let me guess. Did Joao just walk onto the field?” He asked bitterly. 
Now you were confused. 
“Wait what? Joao? Why would I care about him?” 
He looked at you with the blankest stare, “So you’re going to sit here and tell me you weren’t flirting with him in the hallway?” 
“Flirting? What no way! We just bumped into each other!” You defended. 
“Right. Well in that case let me just go bump into Rosalia.” He muttered. 
“Gavi!” You smacked him on his arm, fighting back a laugh. 
That was the thing about you and Gavi, you could never stay serious for long. Even when something was bothering the other person, yes you would talk about it, but a few jokes would still be made, giving your relationship the air of lightness and security that you loved. Your relationship made you want to fly with Gavi, not drag him down with your baggage. 
“I’m sorry if it looked like that, but honestly, I only like you.” You said, placing a comforting hand on his shoulder.
“Someone tell that to Joao.” He joked.
You grinned at him, “I will. After the match if you want.”
He grabbed your wrists, trapping you beside him, leaning in, “You. You stay away from him.”
You were centimeters away from him again and this time you couldn’t help it. You leaned in closing the distance between you.
You kissed him sweetly, pouring all the emotions you felt for him, all the love, all the things you wanted to say to him but were too shy to. 
Your hands traveled from his shoulders up to his annoyingly soft hair, one hand getting tangled in his locks, while the other went around his neck, bringing him closer to you.
Damn you really needed to steal his hair care routine. Shit was so soft. 
He bit on your lower lip playfully and you felt a shiver run through you.
You both pulled away after a bit, out of breath. Chests heaving as you looked at each other with glazed over eyes and lazy smiles.
“Hope no one saw that.” You whispered not willing to move away. 
“Hope Joao saw it.” He whispered back, a smile tugging at the corner of his lips.
You both didn’t say much after that, watching as the match started.
The game ended up going well with Chelsea winning 2-0.
You both cheered once the final whistle blew, happy that the team you had come to support had won.
The team came over to the fans’ side of the stadium, celebrating their win.
You cheered along with everyone, “Hey Siri play London Boy.” You joked.
Gavi heard you, giving you the dirtiest glare.
“Kidding!” You laughed.
“He’s not even British! He’s Portuguese!” Gavi exclaimed.
You wrapped your arms around him, “It doesn’t even matter, cause I love my Spanish boy more.”
You felt Gavi cringe beside you, “Yah that doesn’t sound as good.”
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mikashisus · 1 month ago
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AT THE END OF EVERYTHING, HOLD ONTO ANYTHING
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SUMMARY: fall in possum springs has returned, and with it, your ex-boyfriend. somehow... despite how long it's been, he's still the same... while you are not.
PAIRING: kazuha x gn!reader
TAGLIST ! @aphrodict @lowkeyren @mitsvriii @https-sourlimes @pixelcafe-network
warnings: self deprecation, mentions of death, angst
wc: 2.2k
notes: wrote this entire thing on a whim at 1am without editing it, so i apologize if there's any errors 😔🙏 can u guys tell i rlly rlly rlly love night in the woods... and the entire coziness of possum springs... it reminds me heavily of my semi-rural hometown, so playing thru nitw feels like home in a way
this is my second entry for the @/stellaronhvnters halloween event! prompt: phantom!
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The relatively sleepy town of Possum Springs was not only tucked away in a rural corner of the country, but very very uneventful. 
In true countryside fashion, everyone in town knew each other. It was a crime not to, unless you were new to town. But no one would ever dream of moving to Possum Springs. 
It was boring, same-old, and dull. Well, to you at least. There was nothing to do in this backwards town. It wasn’t anything like the city, and it definitely wouldn’t get you anywhere. 
If anyone wanted to be something, to go somewhere, to make it into the world, they had to leave, because there was no way they were going to do any of that while staying here. 
Tapping along the side of the counter, you blew a bubble with the gum you were chewing on and sighed heavily as you watched Garbo and Malloy on the tv mounted on the wall across from you. 
Possum Springs had little to zero cell reception, which meant you couldn’t text your best friend, Yoimiya. Not only that, but you were on the clock right now. Pulling out your phone would get you a one way ticket to getting fired; which you couldn’t have, because you needed a job. 
The Snack Falcon wasn’t the ideal place to work. It was a convenience store, which meant the pay wasn’t great, but it was enough to keep you on your feet in this town. It wasn’t like you had anything going for you, anyway. 
Your parents couldn’t afford sending you to college, so you had to stay here in this lame ass town and rot for the rest of your life. But at least you had Yoimiya, your best friend from high school, rotting with you. 
Together, you’d rot until the day you die. In this town. Born in this town only to die here too, without ever being able to leave. 
The front door chimed as a customer walked in, and you greeted them in a less than friendly tone. You checked your watch again, and thankfully your shift was ending in only ten minutes. 
A chuckle sounded from the front of the store. “I thought you’d be happier to see me, but I guess I was mistaken.” 
You perked up. You knew that voice. It was the voice of your high school sweetheart, Kaedehara Kazuha. 
Whirling to face him, you took in his appearance. He was wearing a crimson hoodie with black jeans and red converse. A pair of white headphones rested around his neck, and his hair was pulled into that same old side ponytail he always had it in. 
He looked the same. Just like the day he up and left you here to rot, all while he got to explore the world and get out of the town you always wished you could leave. 
“Kazuha?” 
His name felt foreign on your tongue. How long has it been since he left? Two years? You couldn’t remember. Time flew by as soon as you stopped thinking of him.
He smiled at you, big and bright like he always did. So full of love and adoration. It made you sick to your stomach. 
Did he seriously not have anything to say to you? No apology for just leaving you without a warning? No explanation? 
He never even made the effort to reach out when he was gone. Not once did you receive a text or a phone call. Not once did he come back to visit or even see you. Not once did he even think of you. Yet here he was, pretending as if nothing had ever changed. 
But it did. 
You changed, Yoimiya changed, everything changed. Possum Springs changed, even if just a little bit. But it seemed as though he didn’t change. 
How fitting for someone who was always changing like the winds before he left. 
“When does your shift end?” He asked softly, leaning against the counter in front of you. 
The clock on the wall read 5:00. You met his crimson eyes again, and sighed. “Now.” 
He smiled again, never taking his eyes off you. “Perfect. Would you accompany me to the diner, then?” 
What kind of sick game was he playing? Regardless of his intentions, you nodded briefly and told him to wait while you grabbed your belongings from the back room. 
As soon as you exited the locker room, your boss bid you goodnight and you returned her sentiments halfheartedly before slinging your bag over your shoulder and joining Kazuha at the counter. 
You spit out your gum in the trash and left the store, making a beeline for the diner a few shops down. Kazuha kept in pace with you, shoving his hands into the pocket of his sweatshirt. 
A tense silence encompassed the both of you as you sat down at an empty table in the diner. You dismissed a menu when the waiter brought two to the table. You ordered a pizza— your usual. Meanwhile, Kazuha settled for a simple basket of chicken tenders and fries. 
The waiter jotted down your orders and left, leaving the two of you to embrace the silence that was still heavy and thick in the air. Kazuha watched you carefully as you stared out the window, your chin in your hand, people watching. 
For some reason, he felt as if he was staring at a stranger. You weren’t the same person he once knew two years ago. Of course, he was well aware that there would be change in this town, but he wasn’t expecting you to change so much. 
“So…” he began, trying to draw your attention back to him, “how’ve you been? How are your parents doing?” 
“They’re fine.” 
“How’s your brother?” 
“He’s alright,” you shrugged, “still a smartass teenager.” 
He laughed softly. One thing didn’t change after all. He could still remember the way your brother would tease you and drive you up the wall. He had to be at least a sophomore in high school by now. 
“You work at the Snack Falcon? Is that new?”
You shrugged again. “Yeah. Came about after the Food Donkey closed.” 
His eyes widened. “The Food Donkey’s gone?” 
“Yep. Replaced by the Ham Panther.” 
A lot changed. 
He frowned as he realized you were barely giving him more than a sentence as an answer. That, and you weren’t even paying attention to him. At all. 
Finally, you turned to him, your expression stoic. He wasn’t used to you being so standoffish. Was it because he left so suddenly two years ago? He wouldn’t fault you for still being upset if that was the reason. He deserved it, after all. 
“What are you doing back?” You questioned, your tone somewhat dismissive. 
He cleared his throat. Your food arrived at the table just as he opened his mouth, and you eagerly began to dig into your pizza. You hadn’t eaten since this morning and your stomach had been growling for an entire hour before your shift ended. 
Needless to say, you were starving, and this pizza would satiate you until you returned home. Clik Clak Diner’s pizza wasn’t good, but it wasn’t bad. It definitely wasn’t the best pizza, but it was okay in terms of your pizza scale chart. 
Kazuha took a few bites of his meal before he answered your question. “It didn’t work out.” 
You glanced up at him. “Interesting.” 
He was getting tired of your one-liners. You didn’t care enough to ask why or what happened. It wasn’t your business, and you didn’t feel like prying. 
The rest of dinner was silent, aside from the sounds of the tv playing across the room and the occasional chatter of the other patrons. You practically devoured your pizza, labeling it as a firm ‘normal’ on your pizza scale. 
It was sunset by the time you exited the diner. The crisp Autumn breeze rustled your hair, and the smell of fresh pumpkin pies from the house across the street added to the October ambience. Halloween was steadily approaching. You’d have to think of your Halloween costume at a later date. Maybe you could match with Yoimiya, or— 
“Look,” Kazuha sighed softly, “I’m deeply sorry for leaving so suddenly.” 
The two of you stopped walking at the edge of the woods, staring out at the old train tracks you used to fool around on as kids. The sound of the train was a welcome one, one filled with memories of winter nights and sunsets in the Fall— just like now. 
Fall in Possum Springs was pleasant and quiet, just how you liked it. Leaves littered the sidewalks and yards, the days got shorter, the temperature got lower, and Harfest was right around the corner. It was the ideal time of year— the only time of year you actually enjoyed living in this rural town. 
Fall felt like home. It was nostalgic. 
A soft Autumn breeze drifted by. It wasn’t enough to make you shiver, but it was a cooling one that felt like a caress on your skin. Just the kind of weather you preferred. 
“You left me here…” you trailed off, “do you have any idea what I would give to go to school? To have been in your shoes? And what did you do? You threw it all away.” 
He didn’t fault you for being upset. Hell, he would be mad at him too. He already was mad at himself for everything that happened. If he could, he would go back in time and stop it all from happening, but he didn’t have that kind of power. 
He was silent, allowing you to vent your anger. 
“Do you know how much that hurt me? To find out you were leaving the day that you left?” you said softly, your voice cracking slightly. 
“And then have you come back out of nowhere saying it ‘didn’t work out’ and acting as if nothing has even changed between us?” You turned to him, tears gathering in your eyes. 
His brows knit together in sorrow. “I’m sorry. Everything has changed.” 
You nodded, looking down at the ground. The next words out of your mouth felt like a knife being driven straight through his chest into his heart. 
“I stayed here and got older, while you went off and stayed the same.” 
As it turned out, you were right. He hadn’t changed one bit, yet everything about you had. He found himself wondering how much time really passed. Time was incomprehensible to him now. He wouldn’t be surprised if more than two years passed since he last saw you. 
A long silence passed, with the only noise being your sniffles. 
He swallowed the lump in his throat. He would’ve liked to wait before dropping the bomb on you, especially since you were in the midst of crying, but there was no better time to say it than now. 
“(Name), I have something to tell you.” 
The seriousness of his tone made you falter, and you turned to him with a skeptical look in your eyes. Your brows furrowed together, and he met your gaze as he said, 
“The reason I came back to Possum Springs was to see you one last time. To clear this all up.” 
Huh? What did that mean? It wasn’t making sense to you. 
“What do you mean?” 
He took a deep breath. “There was an accident— a construction accident.” He let you piece the rest of it together. 
He watched as the gears slowly turned in your head before you gasped, a hand coming up to cover your mouth as your eyes widened. 
“So, are you…?” 
“I’m a ghost,” he confirmed with a small nod, “I returned to settle my past grievances. Now that I have, I can rest in peace.” 
Another long silence passed. He wondered what you were thinking right now, but the expression on your face was one he couldn’t decipher. He knew all of this was a lot to take in— especially the part about him being a ghost. 
Your silence was unnerving. Were you scared of him? Would you run off now that you knew he was a ghost? Would you stay? 
“School didn’t work out. I didn’t lie to you about that,” he muttered, “I would never lie to you. It didn’t work out, so I decided to return home. I was on my way to the bus station when the accident happened.” 
This was all too much to take in. You could feel a headache already forming. 
He shuffled closer to you, his fingers gently brushing against yours. When you made no move to pull your hand away, he intertwined his fingers with yours and gave your hand a soft squeeze. 
A tear rolled down your cheek. The train in the distance blared. The Autumn breeze you loved so much now felt like knives on your skin, and the hand encompassing yours was cold to the touch. 
Everything really had changed. 
Possum Springs was still the same-old, boring ass rural town. It was still the same town you were born and raised in and would likely die in. The people were all familiar faces that you’ve seen everyday, yet all of you grew older by the year. 
Yoimiya was older. You were older. Your brother and your parents were older. But Kazuha was the same. 
Everything had changed. You changed. 
But he stayed the same. Stuck in time. Forever unmoving. 
You looked out at the old train tracks, at the countryside you knew all too well and the town you were stuck in. You looked at the man— now a ghost, standing next to you. 
And suddenly, it felt as if he had never left at all. As if nothing had changed.
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notes: the line “i stayed here and got older while you went off and stayed the same” is a line from the game!! it’s one of my favs and im so glad i got to use it! bea is the one who says it! :)) 🤍
© 2024 mikashisus. do not plagiarize, copy, repost, feed to ai, or translate my works to any other platforms.
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moldingtundra · 8 months ago
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thought I’d talk about my interpretation of unpleasant because yes (also I might make an ask blog about it)
Ok so lord timeee!! Content warning for some really sensitive topics (genocide, murder, prostitution, implied abuse, etc.) so watch out.
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so unpleasant gradient (aka gradie) was born because his mother was a prostitute (so was his dad but much less so) and his fathers parents found out so they made him marry her, obviously that does shit and eventually when he turned 7 his father left and he was left along and u can kindddaaa imagine what happeneds when ur left with this type of mom whis also an alcoholic and smoker…yeahhh, so he gets two sibs (one if them is older the other is younger, same mom) pleasant gradient (older, named penny) and monotomous graident (younger, named mono) who took care of him when his mother escaped without him at 11 years old including a third sibling who used to take care of him when he was a toddler but ran away from home due to his mom (they were mutated gradient). (gradie has a shit ton, you can imagine why lmao) but he only sees it once and never again, so the three brothers have to survive the famine and genocide going around (it started before gradie was even born) but obviously u can imagine what happens in this typa scenerio (gradie had to almost say bye bye to half of his body bc of a bomb at 12 and watch penny die and mono run away then escape at 15 (the scars dwindled over time dw but it’s still there )) and then there is an opurtunity to escape the country with a bus, but theres only one bus ticket, so a random woman gives it to gradie and sends him off bc she knows he has the most potential and promises to find him (its been 45 years he still hasnt seen them) here’s art of what he looked like back then:
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so after he escaped he rebuild his life in the land equivalent of AMERICUH and he attends this high school and he falls in love with builderman but decides not to confess and they both decide to graduate together and try getting it big, builderman did it by building the robloxia community and gradie byt writing his experiences with genocide and hiking high feets no one reached, like he won some guinness world record and some new york times bestseller thing- my guy was packed!!!…..until he got hit by a truck and couldnt do anything anymore (sad 💔) ON TOP OF THAT builderman married jane doe and had thier kid (infected) and graide would by to babysit infected since he was a wee little baby.
so kasper got infected at his 12th birthday. But the infected turns him into a vicious furry or whatever (werewolf if you want) and the first time that happened, he fucking ate his parents and gradie literally just came by to give them lasagna and infecteds present, so now his parents are dead, and graide decides to adopt infected (who hates it lol) and they just raise infected while tryna deal with his furry issue (his furry issue caused him to eat his own cat and some residents) and graide is just like tryna fucking hold himself together bc if the kid u had to babysit thats from ur one sided gay lover who married a fugly woman decides to kill yo one sided gay lover and u had to adopt him I wouldve eaten my organs)
and that’s basically it! Expect an ask blog for him soon this week or before I die lol
toodaloo!
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deathofpeaceofmiiind · 10 months ago
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high infidelity | twenty one
"I rent a place on Cornelia Street", I say casually in the car. We were a fresh page on the desk, filling in the blanks as we go. As if the street lights pointed in an arrowhead leading us home
*Ellie's POV* A few days later…
I was finally back up in Vancouver and with Liam, I missed him so much and being with him gave me a sense of stability. Tyler put the house up for sale and it sold on the same day which was incredibly lucky but very normal for Vancouver real estate. Liam and I have just been staying with my dad for the time being, which my dad enjoyed. Danielle even found me a condo and I was getting ready to move into it already. I had to admit this transition period in my life was going a lot easier than I expected. I had such an incredible support system that made it even better.
“I can’t believe this place is mine.” I mused as I walked around my new home. It was right in the heart of Vancouver, bright open layout, lots of windows, a large patio, and even better it had three bedrooms so Liam could have his own space and I could still have a guest room. Danielle looked over at me at smiled, “It’s all yours babe, time for a fresh start.” “Absolutely.” I mused, still not believing I was finally out of that house and didn’t have to walk on eggshells. I could decorate it the way I wanted, adopt a cat if I wanted, put my Christmas tree up early without someone bitching in my ear. Hell I could drink wine and dance around naked if I wanted to. “When does the furniture arrive?” “Tomorrow.” I had taken some of my money from the house selling to get new furniture, cause I wanted nothing from the house in here besides Liams room. Danielle and I were gonna mirror it to his old room to help him with the transition. “It was nice of them to leave this couch.” “This couch is fucking sick.” Danielle agreed, it was a giant cloud couch that almost wrapped around the whole living room. I couldn’t wait to have Noah and the guys up here to hang out and have family dinners or even football Sunday’s with them. I went to check on Liam, but as soon as I did my phone buzzed, it was a text from Noah. “Special delivery at your front door.” I raised my eyebrow and walked towards the door. My footsteps felt heavy the closer I got, I checked the peephole, but he wasn’t on the other side of the door. Filled with confusion I swung the door open and saw a giant bouquet of ivory roses. My heart skipped a beat, they were my favourite. How did he know?
I grabbed my phone and face-timed Noah, he answered and saw me with the flowers,“Congratulations on your new home baby.”
I blushed as I stared at the screen, he was sitting in his home studio as his favourite Naruto hoodie hugged his body. “Thank you these are gorgeous.” “I thought you deserved a house warming gift.” “I’ll never say no to flowers. Are you happy to be home?” I replied as I sat down on the floor in my empty bedroom, completely consumed by Noah’s voice. Funny how a few short years ago I found comfort in his voice on Twitch and now he’s FaceTiming me daily, it was something out of a teenage dream. “I am.” He replied as he scanned his room. “It’s just missing something.” Rolling my eyes, already knowing the answer, “hmm, what could that be?” “You, obviously.” His smile faded and turned into a small pout, “I miss you so much, Ellie.” My heart sunk as it hit me that he really wasn’t here with me, but he was in another country. At least we were in the same timezone but it still wasn’t enough. “I miss you too, Noah.” “I actually have a question for you.” He started. “We upgraded to a bigger venue tomorrow and the remaining tickets sold out quickly so we added a second show the night after. I was wondering, if you’re able, do you want to come down for the second show?” “I’d love to Noah.” A smile appearing on my face, “I want to see what your life is like down there. Only thing is, I’d have to fly down the day of the show. Liam goes back to his dad’s tomorrow after dinner.” He smiles at me through the screen, “Works for me.” “I can’t wait to see you.” I stopped myself, every cell in my body wanted me to tell him I loved him. I wanted to tell him, but over the phone just didn’t seem right. “I can’t wait to see you either.” He was cut off by his doorbell ringing. “What are your plans tonight?” “Inhale this ramen that just arrived and watch more Demon Slayer.” His dark eyes burned a whole into my heart as he looked at me, “Isn’t your boyfriend so exciting?” “Very.” I chuckled. “I can’t wait to see you.” “Once this tour’s over I’m coming up to stay with you with no interruptions okay? I gotta go though, Jesse might steal my food.” He replied, referring to his roommate Jesse Cash, who was also in a band called Erra. Noah started to walk out his room and I could hear him yelling at Jesse to not go to the door. Jesse told him to get fucked and went anyway. “Goodnight babe.” I hung up and I just sat there, feeling tears in my eyes. How can I have so much going for me but I feel deflated? I didn’t want to feel like this. I didn’t want to be this attached to him this fast but he made it impossible, especially with how he’s been so devoted to me. This felt like the cruelest way to fall in love, but I knew it was something I would have get used to with his career. “Mama?” I looked up, Liam walked into the room and towards the flowers. I smiled at him as I wiped the tears from my eyes, he caught me and walked over to me. It amazed me that even at his age he felt my sadness and wanted to make me feel better. He crawled onto my lap and hugged me, putting his head on my shoulder. I held him close to me as I felt more tears escaped my eyes. It can only get easier from here…right?
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velvetcloxds · 2 years ago
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Okay, okay, okkkkkay!!!!
! So I had to choose my college right?! Well my first choice turned out to be an online (the in-person was in another state) but then the one that I didn't really want to go to (because it's farther away and has snow sometimes but still in state) accepted me. So I did a virtual tour and it turns out that I love it. And after doing some more research into their programs and classes and general schooling life I decided it axtually was the one for me!!! So I accepted their offer! Then I had to fill out the housing application and find a roommate. Well I did it and the first person I say immediately matched up 87% with me... everyone else had like a 20% match with me. So we started talking and I thought we fit together really well. We are similar enough thst would could be really great friends, but different enough that we aren't going to get tired or burnt out on each other! And she is coming in from out of state, but I know where she lives and I know it's a super cool place (not this matters much but still) So we are roommates! But need to still get a dorm room, we'll get that down soon though. I got all my Dr's appointments done for now, the only ones left this month are just like check ins. I finally got my graduation announcements ordered!! They are super cute and awesome!! Last month we had my brothers memorial, the same day as prom and a country concert. It was pretty chill, family only. But I didn't go to prom because I have no friends here lol. I did go to the convert though! It was in the evening, Josh Turner! Which was freaking awesome, then the next day it was Lainey Wilson!!! Best thing ever!! And then a couple days later, I went on a hike to a place where my Poppa put up a plaque in honor of my brother (it's on a rock where my brother would have sat for hours). And then finally my biggest freakin news!! My mom handed me her phone saying I had someone who wanted to talk to me. It was my aunt, she asked me if I was doing anything on April 29... and then. AND THEN...
She tells me we are flying to Georgia to go see TAYLOR SWIFTS ERA TOUR!!!!!!! I couldn't breath for a minute, I thought I was gonna pass out! So now I have to figure that out (but something cool about that is in the 1800s I had a family member who was a murderer right, and his family died... because of him. And we are going to be driving right threw the town where it happened!!! Freaky but awesome!)
Alsooo have you seen Daisy Jones and The Six? Because I just finished it and when I tell you I am obsessed... I mean obsessed!! I don't even know what to do with myself. It was just so good. And I fell in love with one of the characters (the only nonproblematic one)
I love you!! Thank you for letting me do my little happy rant and happy dance 🤠 I feel very giggly and like... well happy!!
bestie that sounds so exciting I'm so glad your time at uni is starting out amazing before you're even officially starting!!
YOU GOT TAYLOR TICKETS AHHHHHHH- I AM BOTH SO EXCITED FOR YOU AND ENTIRELY ENRAGED WITH JEALOUSY FROM THE OTHER SIDE OF THE WORLD BUT OMG I HOPE YOU HAVE THE BEST TIME AND PLEASE SEND ME TONS OF PICS AND VIDS SO THAT I CAN LIVE VICARIOUSLY THROUGH YOU PLEASEEE AND ARE YOU PLANNING TO DO A FUN LITTLE OUTFIT?
I have not seen it yet, I haven't seen anything new for a while lately except for the mandalorian but I really really want to, it's also just not available here yet so I just need to wait for it but honestly good job falling for the good guy, them problematic guys be looking too fine not to fall in love with sometimes
I love you too and I'm so so sorry for only answering now, had such a rough week so I've not been on here much kjsf
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delirious-robot · 2 years ago
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I lost both my parents by the age of 27.
I was adopted at birth. 
I found out at age 12.
I lost my mother at age 4. 
I remember her dearly. I was born in Chicago. 
But at age 3, my mother and father and I migrated to Perth Australia, the country of my mother’s (June Goth) heritage which would soon become mine too.
I’ve only ever been in 3 long term relationships in my life by age 43. 
One of them I was married to and had 2 kids with.
I was kicked out of home at age 15 because my dad (John Goth) couldn’t handle me anymore. He never remarried. 
We moved across the world when I was 14, he moved me out of my school and home where I was really happy and stable in Glendale California to a tiny little sea side town in New South Wales called Shellharbour, and I protested and rebelled. 
If I ever tried to talk about it with my “new friends” there they would just roll their eyes at me, scoff at me and say “well why don’t you just go back there.” and then ignore me. 
I became left out at school and pretty much an outcast and often sat by myself, being an onlooker, feeling humiliated. 
Needless to say, I took whatever available friendships I could get… one of them ended up being a great friend and I have many happy memories with. 
But we did a lot of naughty things.
I lived with her and her family for a while, then lived in government housing in Australia in the Illawarra area, because my dad would not accept me back home.
When I was 15 I joined a religious sect in Sydney, because I had a purpose to help people and it was “my calling”, and I was tired of living without my purpose. 
That didn’t work out at the time and I was out by age 16, alone, in Sydney Australia.
I started in the work force.
I had a few various jobs but finally landed the best job I never should have quit, to go back to the US when I was 19 - at Telstra in Sydney. 
I was making over $50K per year as a high school drop out in the 90s, and my expenses were about $500/month. 
I had lots left over at the end of every pay check and could do whatever I wanted - all the freedom I could ever ask for. 
I had friends to go out with on the weekends to pubs and clubs and had a great job. What more could I want. 
Yet still, I felt something was missing… and there was something gnawing at my mind, that I could not shake…
I was so dumb for leaving Australia to move to the US when I was 19, but I felt that I “wanted to be where the artists area and do acting” in LA. 
What a fucking sham.
I was miserable because I was homesick and missed my job and my friends in Sydney for at least 9 months and because of this I tried to branch out and got distracted from my dreams. 
Hook line and sinker I became involved in other “dreams” and goals that had nothing to do with who I really was.
I partied my way through my early-mid 20s, only to figure out that none of it actually mattered and I had wasted several years of my life and the people who said they were my friends were actually just using me and didn’t really care about me at all.
The evidence is in the fact that none of those people have talked to me in over 15 years.
I finally realized my mistakes, and tried to get my head screwed on straight. 
I started volunteering again and doing self improvement courses.
I learned a lot and had some bright epiphanies.
I made a dumb mistake with a guy I really liked at the time.
Somewhere in the middle of all this…I was painfully missing my dad, and desperately was trying to figure out how to get back to Australia to see him. 
Without paying $2500 for a return ticket.
Sadly, I figured out how to get there and back for only $600 many years after he had passed to see a fella I’m no longer with…
When I broke up with a boyfriend when I was 23 (who turned out to be a criminal, and I stayed with him an extra 6 months to try to help him resolve his issues) I borrowed some money from my dad to be able to get into a new residence and cope while I transitioned.
Years later, I didn’t realize, but my dad was really sick, still in Australia, and he really needed the money back for health care because he could not get government assisted health care, even though I had tried to repay him on my hamster wheel paycheck to paycheck lifestyle.
He very patiently asked me to pay him back, and I kept on stalling and could not. 
Finally, I found an opportunity to take a job out in Boston MA as a personal assistant which promised me a way to get him paid back fast.
My accommodation and food would be paid for, as well as my travel expenses out there, plus paid a wage plus bonuses for booked appointments for the sales guy I was booking for. 
Great.
So, I cancelled my then accommodation, put everything in storage, and left on a whim thinking that everything would be fine and dandy.
My employer at the time really liked me working at their company, and asked me about the situation. 
He gave me a severe caution about going. 
He said, you shouldn’t do it. 
He was a nice wise older man. 
Again, I didn’t listen, and I went. 
Thinking it was the answer to all my problems and to get my dad paid back so that I could finally fix things with him.
I went to Boston. 
It was cool for a while. 
My employer however withheld my pay from me each week saying something was wrong with his bank account and we’d get it sorted.
He hit on me. 
I let him know I was just there for work.
He didn’t like that.
He flew out my best friend at the time to help keep me company.
Little did I know she was my replacement because he wanted to be rid of me because I rejected him.
He ended up losing his (crap) on me over nothing and flipping out, and telling me to leave, and I had no money. 
He said he would give me a few hundred dollars. 
He still owed me about $2500 which was the exact amount I needed to pay back to my dad.
Which could have saved his life.
I was traumatized when I left Boston. 
This was in 2007.
I left and only made it to Denver CO, with nothing in my bank account and I had run out of money.
I was lucky that my birth mother lived there, as well as my birth sister.
They saved me.
My birth mother ended up offering to pay for me to go back to LA, or get set up in Denver with an apartment.
Having nothing left for me in LA, no home and no job and no one there to really welcome me back or so I thought, I opted to stay in Denver, just get to know them better for a while.
I continued with my self development and self improvement study.
I had an apartment of my own for the first time in my life.
It was so cool until I realized the area was not really that great. 
I was in the heart of Denver.
And until I got the phone call.
“Your father was found deceased in Shellharbour Australia."
I couldn’t really process it properly, because it was mixed with so much guilt. 
I felt it was my fault. 
If only I had only… done things different or been there for him… 
if only I had never left Australia. 
Had not been so selfish. 
If only… a million other things…
The impact of those emotions is almost too much to face. It sends me into a tailspin.
I stayed in Denver another 2.5 years. 
Mostly only because I met a guy who wanted to date me, asked me to live with him after a few weeks of dating, and asked me to marry him after only 2 months of knowing me.
Kids, don’t ever ask someone to marry you after only knowing them for 2 months. 
I knew this at the time but somehow I went along with it anyway - very stupidly.
He’s an alright guy and I wish we could have just recognized really early on we weren’t a match, and not have this sort of "must have” thing about it and just left it and stayed sort of distant friends. 
I tried to break it off many times and he insisted on it and I felt obligated and I obliged… 
***please understand, this is different than some other things…*** 
we knew after a few weeks of being together that it should not be. 
We lived together. 
There were many instances where we knew it should not be. 
It was dumb to continue. 
*I never felt in love with him* 
and I don’t think he really did with me, 
just the idea of being with someone. 
I never really felt like he actually knew me. 
Just treated me like I was supposed to be someone that I was not.
So, we got married, moved back out to LA, and had 2 kids really quick.
The kids are awesome.
The divorce was not. 
No one ever gets married with the idea they are going to just get divorced a few years later. 
Of course we tried.
I’m sorry it happened. 
It was hard on the kids. 
But at least they were still young. 
I think it would have been harder on them had it happened later.
Honestly, I would have stayed in it even though I wasn’t happy and continually put down, just to keep a home for the kids… 
but I realized that I didn’t want the kids growing up seeing what passed for a marriage between their dad and I as normal.
I wanted them to understand that if you feel miserable and have tried making it better so many times and you still can’t live together happily in a marriage, it’s ok to say hey we should not do this anymore.
And I didn’t want them to grow up seeing their parents not like each other, or truly love each other. I wanted them to see a better example.
I wish it could have been a happily ever after, I always wanted a happy family home.
But.
I am happy that he has moved on, and I am years away from feeling disappointed about it all. 
We speak cordially with each other lately anyway when we have to speak about the kids.
(Skip a bunch of stuff I’m not ready to talk about - maybe in a year or two over a bottle of wine lol.)
And there you go.
I am focusing on business stuff. And putting order into things. 
And enjoying and admiring life, liking where I live and liking learning things. 
And creating my own glorious success story. 
More on that to come. 
I have big dreams and working hard at it - it’s all that matters right now.
And raising my kids into wonderful humans. Which they are.
This was written entirely off the cuff and unplanned. It just sort of came as a stream of consciousness, out as I sat down at the computer. 
As if someone wanted to know… Cheers. 
Now you know a bit more about me, if you have read this far. Thanks for reading.
Word of advice: Don’t fall in love with me. You’ll regret it later - bad idea. I still have a long way to go and need a lot of work before I can be considered “acceptable” and am up to par with regular standards.
I am also not an "option". I'm a ride or die, all in or nothing.
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erodasfishtacos · 4 years ago
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Take a Hike
Prompt: When Harry and Y/N take the baby for a hike and end up being followed by fans.
word count: 2.2 k
contains: language, sexual content
Harry was furious. He just wanted to go on a hike  - like a normal family on a warm June day in a beautiful foreign country.
You were currently in Madrid - on Harry’s European leg of the tour.
While Harry had been doing press - you and Sasha had taken to the hotel pool where she could splash and enjoy the water all day.
It wasn’t without a eagle-eyed security guard who lurked in the background for shady characters and overzealous fans.
Fans - they wanted picture with you because you were Harry Styles’ wife. Not inherently famous on your own.
It was a bit odd, but you didn’t mind occasionally stopping to snap a pic with a excited fans. 
However, when you and Harry were out with the baby - it was completely off limits. Neither Harry nor you would stop for fans and paparazzi if you were toting around your little love.
She didn’t like the crowds and shouts that came along with swarms of people. She would slap her little hands over her ears, dig her face into her parent’s neck, and whimper.
Harry had always been protective of you when it came to these situations. One of the major downfalls of being so famous.
Harry had nearly gotten arrested when a clumsy pap had nearly push you over while you were eight months along. 
**
You and Harry had loaded up all the necessities for the five-mile hike on one of the trails right outside the city.
Sasha had a generous amount of sunscreen on and a little hat to protect her face. She refused to wear the sunglasses.
Harry had a pack for her - so you helped him load your two-year-old onto his back. He knew it was going to ache like a motherfucker but she was a bit too heavy for you. You opted for the backpack with everything in it.
The trail was semi-busy. Both of you donned sunglasses and hats to attempt to disguise yourselves a little bit.
Harry had even pulled on a hoodie - despite the heat - to cover his very recognizable tattoos.
You made it the two and a half miles in without any interruptions. 
Sasha falling asleep halfway through the trek with her cheek smushed against her father’s shoulder blade.
You snapped a few pictures in front of the waterfalls and beautiful rock structures. But you had decided not to wake your daughter from her nap.
You and Harry had taken an obligatory kissing selfie that would likely be your new Lock Screen. 
You both had made the mistake of taking off your sunglasses for the picture because you can hear muted whispers from other tourists.
“Is that fucking Harry Styles?”
“Yes. Oh my god! That’s his wife and baby!”
“Snap a video, Emilia!”
Harry’s noticeable tenses as he slides his sunglasses back onto his nose. Protective papa bear was in full-force around strangers who knew who he was.
The most important thing in Harry’s mind was his family’s safety.
“Let’s go, lovie,” Harry murmurs softly. His British accent surely giving him away if they heard it.
You nod anxiously - pointedly not making eye contact with the fans and small group that was gathering.
As you begin the journey back down the small mountain - you notice the group trailing behind you. Following you guys.
Jaw clenched, you want to scream at them to stop taking pictures of your sleeping baby. But you attempt to keep your cool.
It wasn’t more than ten teenage girls but it didn’t really matter who it was.
The girls are getting louder, more excited. When one of them squeals in joy of seeing her celebrity crush - who she had ticket for his concert tomorrow as did the rest of the group.
The noise startles the curly-haired baby on Harry’s back awake. She immediately starts crying - her hands coming to grip frantically in her fathers matching curls.
“Daddy,” Sasha sobs, grabbing at him as the girls keep snapping pictures and cooing.
Harry’s face is stone - attempting to keep his anger at bay. He was about to lose his shit and you couldn’t blame him.
He couldn’t always treat people with kindness.
“Down, want down,” she lisps, no longer wanting to be confined in her pack. It was also most likely time for a diaper change.
“Not right now, sweetheart. Please be good for mumma and I,” Harry rasps, reaching back to give her leg a comforting pat.
You look at your husband, “Please - let’s just try to make it out of here as soon as possible.”
Harry sighs, “I’m sorry, love.”
You brush his shoulder lightly, “it isn’t your fault people act this way. I just can’t stand when this happens around her.”
Harry’s slight smile from your reassurance turns into a glare when he realizes the nosy fans were trying to talk to his upset baby - who notably did not like strangers.
He’s quick to unstrap the toddler and shuffle her into your arms. You cradle her and turn you back away from the group. 
“Mumma, no cameras,” she whines, her words a little jumbled but you understood.
“I know, baby. Daddy’s going to take care of it,” you coo assuringly. Her fingers finding their way into her mouth to soothe her.
Harry slides her carrier off his shoulders and tosses it next to your feet. He’s trailing over to the jumpy, overly-excited fans.
“Listen,” he states firmly, speaking loudly over their giggles, “y’need to stop following us and takin’ pictures. You’re scaring our baby.”
They chatter a bit, begging from picture and then they promise they’ll leave us alone.
“Absolutely not,” Harry states, trying to stay level headed with these immature teens who adored him.
With that, he’s headed back to you guys. The girls shouting unflattering things at him like “asshole” and “douchebag.”
He decided to ignore it and quickly allows you to strap the baby back into her carrier. His eyes study your face to make sure you’re alright and you give him a calm smile, squeezing at his bicep.
—- 
The girls trailed off after a few more minutes of following us. Harry hummed and sang a few nursery rhymes to Sasha to keep her calm but she was still fussy.
Back the hotel, Sasha was freshly bathed and laid down for a nap in the second bedroom. A baby monitor sat on the bathroom countertop as you two showered off the sweat and dirt.
Harry was still upset about the incident so you decided upon a good cuddle in a warm shower. His cheek was rested in the top of you head and his arms holding you to his wet chest.
“Just want to be normal - for one fuckin’ day,” he huffs with frustration.
“We had a totally normal, fun hike. It wasn’t ruined, I promise. It’s our reality so they’re is no use in being upset about it.”
Harry loved how level-headed you were to balance out his irrational, impulsive feelings and actions.
“You’re t’good to me, I love you.”
“At the end of the day, I knew what I was signing up for when you and I got married. I also knew when we had Sasha that paparazzi would still hound you.”
“Didn’t sign up to be harassed constantly though. I just feel so bad about it sometimes. It scares Sasha and it makes me feel like a bad father.”
You knew he was about to throw himself into a downward spiral if you didn’t distract him. 
“You know what else I signed up for when I married you?” I murmur into his neck, letting my lips ghost over his hammering pulse.
“Wha’s that?” He asks genuinely, a little slow on the uptake because of how deep in thought he was.
“That you would fuck me whenever I wanted,” you nearly purr, landing a not-so-gentle nip to the vein protruding on his neck.
“Is tha’ right? Put a ring on your finger and now I gotta give you my cock whenever you please?” He grunts at your teeth pinching his sensitive skin.
It’s amazing how it takes little to no effort to get this man in the mood.
“Mmm, if you want to be a good, dutiful husband,” you taunt - knowing he’ll take the bait.
“Am I not a good husband, pet? I fuck you any chance you let me. Give it to you anytime time you wan’ it. You know that.”
His hand is tugging your thigh up roughly, making your centers align with delicious pressure as he slips right between your folds.
“Harry,” Y/N groans, your head falling down to watch where he’s teasingly grinding his cock against your entrance and clit.
“Want me t’put it in, love?” He drawls like he has all the time in the world. The water pelting on his back making him pink.
“Ple-please,” you choke out, nipples harden against his chest even in the warmth of the shower. Sensitive with every brush against his smooth pecs. 
“You know what else you signed up for when y’married me?” He asks, his voice as deep and smooth as honey.
“What?” I reply, whining each time he teases at pushing in.
“That when you beg for my prick - you’ll be a good girl and take it.” 
With that, he’s thrusting up into you with full force. His sharp hipbones meeting the plushy, soft skin of yours.
“Ooh, oh fuck,” Y/N gasps, wrapping an arm around his neck as he presses brushing marks into your thigh where he’s holding you for leverage.
“C’mon, you can take it,” your husband goads, relentlessly hitting the spot that send licks of flames of your spine.
Your legs are feeling weak with how hard he’s pounding into you. He is so intuned with your body that he moves his hands to you backside.
He lifts you up easily, your legs wrapped around his waist, and his presses you back into the cold tile wall. 
He was so fucking good. How’d you manage to marry him? Unexplainable. 
“Am I good husband? Fuck you well enough?” He hisses against your open mouth as you pant heavily.
“So so good, H. Best husband ever,” you whimper, welcoming the friction from his pelvis against your swollen bud.
“Sweet girl,” he murmurs happily, “I think you deserve to come”
You throw your head back as he speeds up, fingers reaching to flick at your nerves - just on the right side of painful.
It’s just what you needed to climax. He always somehow knew what you needed. His fingers are consistent as he lets you ride it out.
It is only a few more rough thrusts before he’s cursing and coming as well. His hand grasping harshly at your jaw to bring you into a searing kiss.
“Never gonna get sick of watchin’ you come on my cock,” he chuckles, carefully placing your feet back on the ground but keeping a tight hold of your hips.
You lean in to give him a quick but meaningful kiss before going about cleaning your body again after the mess you two created. 
It takes a little longer than necessarily due to you constantly having to bat his wandering hands away from your body.
—-
It dark out now, the city of Madrid illuminated through the large windows of the high-rise hotel.
Sasha was exhausted after the hike and full day at the pool - despite napping twice. She was always out like a light around eight-thirty
You were tightly tucked into Harry’s side, head resting on his shoulder. Your eyes becoming bleary from drowsiness. 
Your toddler was sprawled out on Harry’s chest, fast asleep with one of your husband’s large hands resting on her back. 
Harry was scrolling aimlessly through his phone when he chuckle softly, handing you his mobile to see what was on the screen.
It was a video-recording of an Instagram Live. 
The video forwarded by Jeff. The volume low to not disturb your daughter.
It was a teenager girl who looks unpleasantly familiar.
“Um - yeah. So we saw him and we were hiking freaking out. ‘Cause like we’re going to his concert tomorrow.”
Then girls eyes flick to the commenters to answer questions.
“He had his baby. His wife was there too.”
“No, so he was so unfriendly! He flipped out because we wanted an autograph!”
The girl was mimicking Harry’s thick accent, “when we asked for a picture - he legit said ‘absolutely not.’”
I shake my head at the girl’s antics, “how dare you not take a photo. You’re such a dick.” You tease.
Harry smirks, taking the phone back and tossing it on the cushion. His hand rubbing gentle circles on his sleepy baby.
“None of tha’ matters,” Harry says softly, “I don’t care what anybody but you thinks ‘bout me. At the end of the day, as long as I have you and the bab - I’ll be happy.”
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gustingirl · 3 years ago
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gvf headcanon | s/o surprises them
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request: hi lovely! could i request a head cannon of how the boys would react to you surprising them by showing up somewhere far away while they’re on tour? ily
warnings: not so smutty, but a bit with jake's part
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josh.
no because josh would a hundred percent be super happy, all giggles and blushes. i can see it so badly, like just imagine him. imagine this ball of sunshine all upset (secretly, like he wouldn’t show everybody how sad he was) because you were far away and like i can also imagine jake helping you out to surprise his brother. like josh would instantly make the BIGGEST noise out of this like “my girl visited me, did you see!?” to like every single person ever. like this boy would show you around like the proud boyfriend he is.
and it went kind of like this: so jake had been noticing for the past days, as the guys were having their first tour stops at asia, that josh had been quite lonely lately. he knew his brother needed you, and he could tell how much he was faking his smiles. therefore, he decided to hit you up and let you know about this, as he believed josh had been hiding such feelings for you to not upset you. upon hearing the news, you didn’t get upset at all. instead, you didn’t think twice before grabbing your backpack and traveling to whatever country jake told you the guys were staying at the moment. it was far from home but you didn’t care; you were needing josh as much as he was needing you. thanks to your brother-in-law, you managed to get a ticket for the show. though your first idea was to surprise him backstage, a new possibility came up, and so you remained around the venue, fighting to get as close to the stage as possible. it wasn’t until halfway through the show that josh subconsciously looked around the crowd, only to find a very familiar face. his own face lit up like a christmas tree the second your eyes locked with each other. that one big smile he only had for you showed up, and he just couldn’t control his happiness.
“guYS Y/N IS HERE” he screamed into the mic, making sam and danny get confused instantly, their heads looking around trying to find you
“Y/N!” sam cheered, his body away from the mic but his voice louder than ever.
while the crowd cheered, you could only wave at josh, sending him kisses that he pretended to catch midair. the whole situation was so cute fans couldn’t help but record with their phones, soon showing up everywhere. you were indeed, like peaceful army loved saying, couple goals.
sam.
this boy was (i’m pretty sure and if it’s not true then it’s completely possible) class clown so i just imagine him wanting to make the situation a joke. like not how you think it, but he would want to make everybody laugh with his “goofy” side. so like, i can see sam acting as if he wasn’t surprised when seeing you standing there along with the rest of his family who were waiting outside. it’s all fun and jokes until he truly gets excited and then the acting is gone and the softest baby appears.
you had been thinking about showing up to one of his concerts in latin america ever since they landed on the south part of the continent. sam had been open about it, sharing with you the new experience but never forgetting to mention you. he would occasionally paint little scenarios of how it would be to have you there with him. at first you only smiled and nodded until the idea was burning and you decided to make it real. you got a bit of help from danny, mostly to get information like when to show up, what venue to go to, what country was better, etc. and when everything was perfect, you traveled and allowed the drummer to guide you around. he thought it would be better for you wait outside with fans, and it was on his hands to convince sam to greet them. the fans around you maybe recognized you or not, but anyways they decided to keep it low. when sam walked out of the venue with josh and danny, you pretended to be a fan. sam quickly saw you, and his devilish smile made a comeback.
“well hello, guys!” he began saying as he approached the crowd, completely ignoring you
you were aware of his expressions whenever he was making a stupid prank and, like always, you were not mad. it was cute and even funny, and so you just played along with it.
“aw thanks!” he was talking with a girl near you, and then his attention was on you “hello, what’s your name?” he was acting so well, as if you were seriously a complete stranger
you giggled while going with the flow
“y/n, i’m a huge fan, oh my god!” sam was struggling to not laugh as he tried signing your poster
“really? are you in sam’s lane?” he asked, his eyes going from the poster in your hands to your face, a cute little smile showing up all the time
“no! i’m in danny’s lane!” you finally joked, breaking his character within seconds which made everybody around burst into laughter
“oh yOU COME HERE RIGHT NOW”
suddenly your body was being tightly embraced by your boyfriend who finally acknowledged your new presence and could not stop asking questions about it, always keeping that huge excitement of having you with him.
danny.
i truly feel with danny that he wouldn’t make a big deal about it? my boy over here is pure zen life, like he’s so chill but also so romantic. i do have the small idea he would get so embarrassed if it was in front of others, like the attention would be on the two of you and so he would blush and try to not overreact. i don’t know, man, danny is so soft about stuff, so silent and quiet i just can’t imagine more than just a cute gasp and a big smile (tho in privacy it would be different)
like always, i imagine josh being like that friend you ask for help when you want to surprise someone, because he’s so good at organizing and pretending nothing is going on. and it was josh’s idea to get you on stage as part of the surprise. he had overheard danny talking about you on their way to europe for another part of the tour, and josh got a bit sad at danny’s unhappy tone when mentioning you, as it was evident he missed you deeply. he made it clear to you when he brought up the previous eavesdropping and suggested you came with them, to surprise your boyfriend and even stick around. the idea was amazing, too good to ignore it. and so, you let josh help you out by sending plane tickets and later concert tickets. the rest of the plan was done perfectly; you were among the crowd when the show started, standing right in front of josh so danny could not see you anyway. josh had landed his eyes on you instantly and just waited for the perfect song. it was at the end of safari song that josh jumped off stage and helped you climb back with him. danny was so concentrated on his drums that he never once noticed you were standing right in front of him. when the song was over, your boyfriend was still looking down, and then josh spoke.
“danny, you’re so distracted” the lead singer spoke into the mic as the crowds went wild “would you please look up, buddy?”
you were waiting patiently by your friend’s side as danny’s confused look appeared, soon being replaced by the cutest surprised look ever. the whole moment was being broadcasted on the big screen, and it captured the small gasp along with the little run from the drum’s equipment to the stage’s front.
“baby!?” the question was more of a statement as he hugged you tightly in front of everybody, the fans cheering and screaming your names while throwing flowers on stage, meanwhile jake played some tunes to acclimate the moment. josh was too busy filming and taking pictures of the moment while sam cheered with the crowd, the situation being taken directly from the cheesiest movie you have ever seen.
jake.
jake is physical boy, jake needs you physically and so, upon seeing you again, something tells me he would get a bit turned on. hold on, i do see this happening with josh too. but josh seems a more emotional? like, even though he’s more touchy than his brother, something tells me josh would spend a much more time keeping you near him than just…fucking you, you know? but with jake i have the slight idea he would first get hard, then soft (if you know what i mean). so like i feel like his reaction would basically involve keeping hands on you, and dragging you far away from civilization to remember the times you guys were close together.
and so one day, after checking that you were covered for a couple of days, you found a gap in your life to escape the real world and be able to visit your loving boyfriend whose rockstar lifestyle had him traveling every month. now he was on the other side of the world, below his hometown, just in australia. you obviously had all the info thanks to your little facetime calls of daily nights and the information you could get from the internet. the flight seemed longer than expected, but it was just your anxiety making you desire you could be there within seconds. when time seemed to go faster, you had finally made it to the country and you did not waste one minute to arrive to your boyfriend’s “workplace” which, in this case, consisted of a big venue. his staff members were like friends to you by now and, when they saw you arriving, they didn’t hesitate to help you out with your big surprise. you had decided to show up during the concert, to sneak into the waiting room backstage and wait for your lover. once the show was over, jake showed up as expected, only to scream in his place when his eyes found you. he was all screams and smiles as he jumped into your arms, even making you hold him as he clinged to you. the rest of the night was a delight as you caught up with news and gossip sam had for you (like always). however, things were complicated as jake’s hands were going everywhere around your body: thighs, ass, arms, hair. some touch was naive while other touch was kinky. you were a blushing mess as jake seemed to only get hornier.
“can’t you just wait till we get back to the hotel?” you murmured with a smile, hoping sam wouldn’t hear over the music
“i can’t, darling” jake whispered back, now approaching your ear to finish his sentence “i need you here and now, i need to fuck you”
the sweet, kind words, accompanied by the sneaky hands on your leg had you pulling him with you towards the nearest bathroom to, you know, fulfill your boy’s needs and desires.
145 notes · View notes
hansolmates · 4 years ago
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busted in busan 
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summary; you’re snowbound at the airport, when the only thing you want is to be homebound. your anxieties heighten as the snow rises, worried that you won’t make it in time for christmas where your fiancé and his parents expect you—picture perfect. when all flights are cancelled due to a massive storm, you have to turn to the hands of an unlikely, hard-headed hero who knows the fastest way out of busan (and into your heart) pairing; jungkook x (f) reader genre/warnings; a christmas detour!au, fluff, angst, slice of life, strangers to lovers, enemies to lovers, pining, this is a total romcom, hallmark movie galore! tw–microcheating (or not however you look at it) mentions of sex, making out, profanity w/c; 10k   a/n; for @suhdays​ holiday hallmark event! this event was totally up my lane, i couldn’t wait to post it! a huge thank u for @eerieedits​ for making this wonderful fic banner! this is totally unedited, i’ll to go back to it tonight but pls enjoy! for those of u who need a little more christmas charm this year, this is for u
if you loved this icy couple, please consider giving it a like n’share!⛄⛄⛄
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“The Korean Air 1102 flight from Gimhae International Airport to Incheon International Airport will be delayed six hours due to the intense weather conditions. Please be on standby for any further updates.” 
You’re twitching, fighting the urge to nibble on your nails because you’ve just got them done for Christmas. They’re a sleek champagne gold, because your fiancé insisted that they’re far more mature than your usual red and brown reindeer art. This is awful, and is only going to get progressively worse as the snow builds and builds. Right now the weather isn’t that bad, the snow isn’t even sticking to the ground and—oh. 
Gnawing at your lip, your fingers brush over the cold window, a clear view of the landing strip you should currently be boarding. The touch is icy, and the pads of your fingers are enveloped in little rings of fog at the sudden warmth nudging the glass. Upon closer inspection and a squint of your eyes reveal that in fact, the snow is now sticking to the ground. Big, fat clumps are covering the freeway and destroying your Christmas plans. 
Your fiancé will understand if you’re a little late for their Christmas Eve party, but you’re not sure if his parents will. You’ve been on livewire all week, wanting to at least spend the morning of Christmas Eve with your family back home. Knowing that your fiancé’s Christmas Eve party would run until very late, you booked a noon flight with enough time to get ready and impress his parents. Evidently, it was an ill-prepared idea. 
Immediately falling into your terminal’s line, you hope that you can talk with the receptionist in hopes they could put you at ease. 
“How soon will you announce our flight’s departure?” A sad smile. 
“Is there any way you can put me on the next possible flight?” A shake of the head. 
“Will the weather let up?” A frown. 
Every bit of rejection weighs you down, and you’ve run out of questions to ask. For a receptionist, she’s not very receptive. 
“C’mon lady, you’re holding up the line,” a voice tugs you from behind, “you’re not the only one who’s gotta get down to the city on Christmas.” 
You fight the urge to roll your eyes, wanting to slap the rudeness off this man’s face. Instead of falling back in line, you move to the side to glare at him. He’s unfortunately attractive, albeit in a rugged sort-of way—nothing like your fiancé. The leather jacket that he carries tall is worn and crackly at the collar. Wavy dark hair he constantly has to hold back, a gesture that looks flirtatious and to your chagrin the receptionist is definitely recepting to him. 
“Your refund should be processed in about two to four business days, Mr. Jeon,” the receptionist murmurs, the simultaneously sultry and chirpy voice making you twitch in your spot. Maybe if you drank a cup of tall, dark and handsome you’d be getting the same kind of treatment. 
“Thanks,” he replies shortly, and it’s then you notice the extremely large luggage next to him. It’s the size of you, and despite the broad shoulders under the baggy jacket, he lugs it with careful force, making sure not to bump into anyone as he wheels it away from the counter. 
It seems that your trainers have a mind of your own as you follow him down the terminal. He side eyes you as your feet pick up the pace to match his long legs, but he waits for you to say something first. 
“Why did you ask for a refund?” you ask, frowning at him, “the flight is only delayed.” 
He scoffs, “Do you see the snow? They’re just saying it’s delayed so they can hold onto your money a little longer. Besides, it’s a win-win. I get my refund sooner and some other poor sap can take the ticket and wait until five in the morning.” 
“Five A.M.,” you exhale to yourself, slowing down. 
It would be too late by then, far too late. Your shoulders slump, people start to bump into you without a care. 
“Besides,” you hear his voice say from your stricken form, “I had a backup plan.” 
That’s when your feet start to burn up, and you whip around to pump your legs, catching up with the man who’s already far down the hall. “What kind of backup plan?” you blurt, raising your voice because the crowds are starting to get noisier and deeper the further you follow him. 
He hooks his lips into a confused frown, “You’re awfully nosy.” 
“I’m in a pinch, my fiancé’s parents will kill me if I don’t show up to their party tonight.” 
“Your fiancé’s parents… will kill you?” 
“That’s an exaggeration,” you cough, immediately feeling self-conscious, “they’d kill me with their eyes. They’re really big, really pretty corporate people. They have high expectations for their future in-law.” 
“Ah, and you're the country pumpkin who managed to sweep the rich guy off his feet?” 
“Something like that,” you reply, rocking on your heels, “my dad was his dad’s former secretary, and we grew up together.” 
The stranger with a plan stops in front of a long line. It’s so long that you’re not entirely sure where it leads to. People are piling out the door two at a time, and you can see they’re trying to get through the process as fast as possible. The window leading outside is blurry and caked in white ice. He hooks one leg over his luggage, the metal and plastic case is so high that his feet barely touch the ground. Like a kid with a flat scooter, he wheels himself through the line. 
“These lines are for busses going in the direction of our flight,” he jabs a finger out the door, “if the flight got cancelled I was just going to ride one of these,” out of his pocket he pulls out two tickets, flicking it in front of your face.
“Are there any tickets left?” your eyes bug, and you immediately pull out your phone to reserve a spot. 
“Nah, been booked since last month.” 
It’s then that your eyes zero in on the second ticket he has in hand. Both tickets are addressed to the same name. You lower your phone in your pocket, narrowing your eyes. “Why do you have two for yourself?” 
He pats his luggage as a response. 
“That’s not fair!” 
“It is when you buy it, sweetheart.” 
“A literal human could be in that spot, wanting to go home for Christmas!”
“You’re just salty you don’t have a ticket, don’t take it out on my luggage,” he feigns a pout, rubbing the handle of the heavy container, “you’re hurting it’s feelings.” 
It doesn’t take long for you and the stranger to reach the end of the line. To others in line the two of you look like two companions bickering good-naturedly, but in reality the only thing you want to do is slap that smug smile off his face. 
“You want my ticket,” he states. 
“I want your luggage’s ticket,” you bite back, staring petulantly at where he sits comfortably between the handle. 
Unbeknownst to you, the man’s face morphs into a teasing grin upon seeing you glare a little too hard at the silver and black case. It just so happens that your eyes gravitate to the middle of the luggage, at the apex between his long legs leading up to a pair of black sweats. Despite the soft, baggy fabric you can see how the bulge of his thighs outline the thin cotton, looking large and inviting which—
Fuck. You’re engaged. Why are you checking out some stranger’s thighs? Your fiancé also has nice thighs, think about those! 
“How much do you want for it?” you cough, crossing your arms and turning to the side to hide your flaming cheeks. 
“Who said I was offering?” 
“I’ll pay that and then some.”
“With your rich-boy’s money?” 
If your hands were not digging into your elbows and you weren’t so concerned about your gold-foiled manicure, you’d deck him. Do the holidays normally make this person so snappy? He simply flips his hair, and you catch the shaved ends of his sides. 
“Three-hundred,” he says easily, and if he notices you staring he doesn’t say anything, “including any extra fees for my luggage.”
“Done,” you hold out your hand for him to shake. 
“I’m Jungkook, if you care,” the man named Jungkook adds wryly, practically swallowing your small hand with his larger one. You shortly reply with your name, and he merely nods, “a thank you would suffice.” 
“Thanks,” and it’s then that you manage a scarily pretty smile, one that Jungkook finds both alarming and amusing. It’s a catered smile, one that you’ve trained yourself to accomplish after hours in the mirror in fear of your fiancé’s parents seeing right through you. It’s the smile you give during work when you don’t give a shit but you need to suck it up. It’s a 9/10 success rate. 
“Scary,” he shivers, and then you realize he’s the 1/10. 
The only bus for you two to pile on is one of the smallest. Probably half the size of a regular coach bus, but at this rate you don’t care. You’ll fly by hot air balloon if the weather wasn’t so crappy. 
“Taehyung!” you startle at Jungkook’s sudden belt, and he does a big, beefy-chested bro-hug to the driver. Ah, so he has connections. You watch the two interact from your corner, pulling up your hood to stop the rapidfire snowflakes from pelting your eyes. 
The driver is a classically handsome thing, dark eyes and dark fluffy hair. His paperbag pants look absolutely frigid however, and his teeth are chattering as he regards Jungkook with annoyed eyes. 
“Listen, so plans have changed—”
“As always, Kook.” 
“—and I need you to do me another solid. Do you have room in the compartment for my babies?” 
“The answer is, and always no. That’s why you bought two tickets.” 
“I know but,” he gestures to you with a jab of his thumb, “like I said, plans have changed.” 
“Jungkook,” Taehyung frowns, “trying to do some Christmas miracles? In this snowstorm?” Taehyung shakes his head, eyes flickering to the running bus. Most of the ticket holders are already on it. “I can save you two a three-seater, but there’s no room in the compartment. It’ll be a tight fight but—” 
“It’s perfect. You’re dynamite, Tae,” Jungkook even has the audacity to reach his hands out and squish the driver’s cheeks, much to his distain. 
The two of you are ushered quickly into the bus, leaving you in the very front diagonal to where Taehyung is sitting. The three seats are tiny, it probably barely fits Jungkook’s thighs with the large luggage nestled in the other two seats. The two of you suggest to put the luggage out in the aisle and take turns holding it, but Taehyung interjects that the luggage is a fire hazard. 
“But not a human,” Jungkook decides, and he gestures for you to sit down in the available seat. You’re practically shoved against the window as Jungkook manages to squeeze his gargantuan luggage in the other two seats. He’s tall enough to grab the metal rungs of the bus, steeling himself in the middle of the aisle.
Taehyung doesn’t fight with that, and finally puts the bus into drive. Pulling out of the airport feels akin to leaving the eye of the storm. It’s going to be a long journey, and it makes you worry as to whether you’re going to make it on time or not. 
Your favorite pastime is watching the window on a long car ride, especially when the snowflakes crystalize and melt away through the warmth of the vehicle. However, you’re irked. You thought Jungkook was a bit of a wank, a little too full of himself and far too mysterious for your own good. 
Exhibit A, the luggage that’s currently threatening to wheel over and crush you against the glass. You wonder what’s so special about this luggage that Jungkook so desperately wants to protect, even so far as to buy its own seat. Sneakily, you lean over to smell the zipper. Surprisingly, it smells a little vinegary, the fumes getting you a little lightheaded within seconds. Your eyes dart to Jungkook, who’s currently engaged in conversation with Taehyung. You tilt your head and sniff again, confirming the slightly rancid smell. 
It’s then you take in Jungkook’s form once more. He dresses a little schlubby, his clothes are old, his eyes are sunken in, and his luggage is filled with weird-smelling things. 
Oh no. Is Jungkook a drug dealer? 
Your fiancé’s parents would surely have a fit if this man gets arrested and you come up in the report as an accused accomplice. It makes sense, he would want to make sure that his goods are in his view at all times, and it explains why he so easily gave you his ticket for triple the actual price. 
A giggle interrupts your thoughts. Yes, a tired, yet bubbly giggle. Jungkook’s face is pressed against his bicep, and you catch the fluttering of his eyes as he tries to keep up with Taehyung’s rambling. His grip is starting to loosen on the metal bars, and you’re worried that he might accidentally slip, or not hold tight enough in the event the car takes a sharp turn or slips on black ice. 
“J-Jungkook,” it’s the first time you’re saying his name out loud, tasting it on your tongue as you regard him steadily, “why don’t we take turns sitting? I don’t mind standing for an hour while you sleep.” 
He regards you with a sleepy smirk, shaking his head against the fabric of his jacket. “You’ll be flung in two seconds, besides can you even reach the handles?” 
Good point, but Jungkook is far more muscular and if he does end up flying he’ll crash through the window and further hinder your commute. It’s why you choose your next words carefully, and you convince yourself it’s the only reason as to why you propose your solution. 
“I’ll sit on your lap,” and since it sounds super weird coming out of your mouth, you tack on, “I’ll put your jacket over your lap as a barrier.” 
He slacks, regarding you with a scrunched face. “Is the jacket supposed to make that situation any better? I’m fine standing like this.” 
“This ride is going to take hours and you’re barely on your own two feet,” your point is made when the bus topples over a speed bump, and Jungkook looks awfully small as he moves to grapple the top bar with both hands, “my fiancé doesn’t get jealous, I’ve sat in plenty of friend’s laps before.” 
“We’re not friends,” he blurts with a raise of his brows.
“Yes, I know that,” you’re a little insulted by the curt reply, but he still looks rather horrified that you’re proposing the following, “I don’t like it either, but I’m sitting in your seat and now I’m feeling guilty as hell.” 
It’s a lot of shuffling and shifting after that. You try not to laugh as Jungkook rips off his leather jacket, folding it into a perfect square, ironing out the corners of the crinkly fabric as he gestures for you to take a seat. You try not to take note of how sturdy his thighs are, or how the muscle stretches across the seat so well that there’s no way for you to fall between the cracks. 
“You’re going to sleep anyway,” you try to assure him, side eying him as he presses his forehead against the window, “it’ll be like being with a dead body.” 
“Didn’t know you were into necrophilia, but whatever floats your boat,” Jungkook mumbles, eyes immediately fluttering shut. 
At first it was easy, ignoring the fact that you’re sitting on top of a human. The drive seems endless however, Taehyung driving further and further into a sea of white ice. You force yourself to thread your fingers together, sitting on the very edge of his knees with your back ramrod straight. Eventually, you tire out and relax against Jungkook’s lax body. Your face is centimeters away from Jungkook’s. Long, dark lashes, and a strand of equally dark hair falls in front of his eyes. His cheeks are flushed from the blaring heater, and you let out a breath you didn’t know you were holding in. 
Hm, for a drug dealer, he smells pretty. 
Despite the weird-smelling luggage that looms over the two of you, the white long-sleeved shirt he wears is soft to the touch and smells fresh. 
You huff, and shift in your seat. 
“Stop,” Jungkook mumbles into your shoulder, and you don’t have the heart to look at him. 
“I’m sorry, it’s cramped,” you reply. 
“I get that, but you don’t have to—hike yourself so far up here,” he sounds almost embarrassed saying it, and his hand shuffles to adjust his belt. “Literally can’t sleep because you’re making me pop a boner.” 
“Why, I’m engaged!” 
“God, I know. It’s like your personality trait or something,” Jungkook retorts, “just because you’re engaged doesn’t stop my body from reacting. I’m sure your fiancé has reacted like this, stop acting like a blushing virgin.” 
You tense, your eyes glued to the window in front of you. How do you even make a comeback to that? Wringing your hands in your lap, you feel your palms sweat with nerves the longer it takes for you to reply. This causes the gears to run in Jungkook’s mind. 
“Holy fuck, have you two not—” 
“Shut up,” you hiss, turning your body around to slap him in the chest, “shut up shut upupupshutup!” 
You make seething, burning eye contact with Jungkook. You expect him to have a shit-eating grin on his face, teasing you for your relationship. Instead, Jungkook is wide-eyed, mouth parted open like a confused guppy and his big bug-eyes looking stricken. He says nothing. 
The road starts to get bumpier, and the drive swerves from time to time to avoid black ice. Neither of you are relaxed. Combined with the heart of the storm, your heart is currently wrung on electrical wire, pumping blood with a fervor you cannot stifle. 
“I’m going to put my arms around your waist,” Jungkook murmurs softly, and you lift your arms slightly to see him lace his fingers over your belly button. “Like a seatbelt.” 
You sigh, relaxing in his hold. Now it’s awkward. He feels compelled to hold you to keep you safe, even though he clearly finds it awkward you’ve already put him in this position. 
Jungkook isn’t so bad, you think as you let your gaze linger on his hands. They anchor you to his lap, making sure you’re not jostling during the ride. He may have a razor sharp tongue and gets under your nerves just for the heck of it, but he’s kind of nice. Under the prickly leather jacket, there’s a softness to him you can’t help but gravitate to. 
It’s dark outside, save for the speedily descending flakes and the dim lights of the highway. You’re sitting on the lap of a total stranger, yet it’s a stranger who’s holding your waist like he’s a seatbelt, a stranger who’s making you feel safe to say the words that have been haunting you for the past few months. 
“I’ve tried to initiate sex,” you finally say. “I don’t know why he doesn’t want me, it’s already been two years.” 
Your eyes turn red with bloody horror. Your vision blurred by the insanity of what you’ve just blurted out to this surprisingly kind stranger who’s offered his seat (both times) to you. 
“I didn’t mean to word vomit like that. Forget I said anything—” 
“Must be his loss,” Jungkook cuts you off, and when he says it doesn’t feel impolite at all. However, Jungkook doesn’t continue on, doesn’t give you rhyme or reason, just lets you linger on his reply like a madwoman. 
Maybe it’s because you’re so touch starved, maybe you’re just seeing things, but for some reason Jungkook’s fingers feel more apparent against the seam of your jacket. They tighten a fraction, drum around the metal zipper that holds the thick fabric together. Your palms feel like a fountain, and you try to ignore the burn between your legs, the liquid heat betraying the commitment that sits on your finger. 
You’re engaged to be married, you chastise yourself. All eighteen carats that symbolize that bond glare at you, bright and eager to make you feel guilty. The whole reason why you’re on this cramped bus ride is to get to your soon-to-be husband. Some pretty stranger with strong hands won’t change that. 
“We’re here! Finally!” Taehyung cheers, and you realize now that you’re parked into a tunnel surrounded by other buses. 
Jungkook and you wait until everyone steps off the bus. The pads of Jungkook’s fingers play an unsung tune, absentmindedly drumming to a song you can’t put your mind to. 
“God, you can’t just pay the extra money for someone to take care of this?” Taehyung hauls the large luggage in the aisle seat, and you feel like you’re being revealed under a curtain, doing something you’re not supposed to be doing. 
You hop off his lap, scoop your backpack in your arm and scramble off the bus. The cold, winter air bites into every available pore in your body, replacing the warmth that Jungkook gave in the tiny bus. You hike the collar of your oversized turtleneck higher up your chin, prickling in shivers as you wait for Jungkook. 
“I don’t remember Seoul being this, empty,” you say to yourself, frowning at the lack of humans past the bus station. You peer curiously at the dark, dark road off the terminal. There’s no flicker of light, or a skyline filled with bustling sounds and flickering head beams. 
“That’s because we’re only halfway there,” Jungkook walks past you, luggage in tow. 
“What?” you pull out your phone, it’s already 4PM and it’s pitch dark outside. 
The snow is beating down as you two speed walk out of the hangar, reaching a nearly vacant parking lot save for a pure white minivan. You barely notice the vehicle with all the snow, blending in perfectly as wave after wave of ice beats down on it. The pops of rust by the tires, gaudy orange stripes is the only thing you can focus on as you try to make it to the car as fast as possible. 
“Get in and start the car,” Jungkook practically shoves the keys in your hands, gesturing for you to take the passenger seat. 
When you enter his car, you’re hit with a scent scarily identical to the one in Jungkook’s luggage. You nearly gag when you inhale too much, and your eyes flicker over to the lemon air freshener attached to the exhaust, trying its best to mask the smell. You vaguely remember all the warning stories your parents told you as a kid—never enter the white van. 
Ohmygod, you’re in a white van and all of Jungkook’s drugs are in the back. 
You shake your head, willing the car to start as you arch your back over the console to start it up. You’ve been around your fiancé’s parents too long, letting them fill your head with judgemental gab and crazy assumptions only rich people have about people lesser than them. 
Once the car spurs to life, soft holiday music plays from a pop station. The front window of the car is absolutely covered in snow, you can’t even budge the windshield wipers to scrape the layer of ice off. 
Suddenly, a blanket of ice slides off the window, swept to the concrete. You’re met with Jungkook’s toothy smile and horror-esque stare, and you have this jerk reaction to nervously laugh and jump in your seat. Your nails dig into the cheap fabric of your seat as Jungkook’s scary expression melts into a more softened one, as if happy to have gotten you to laugh in such sucky times. Jungkook continues to brush your windows, meticulously making sure no ice can cause any damage as you two go into the night. 
“Alright, let’s get this show on the road!” Jungkook whips the door open, throwing the snow brush at the space between your feet. 
As soon as he shuts the door, your stomachs growl simultaneously. 
The two of you break into a quick laugh, giggles that overlap the twinkly holiday chimes and the packed snow crunching under Jungkook’s boots. 
“After McDonalds,” Jungkook declares, setting up the GPS for a quick pitstop to the nearest fast food joint. 
Ten minutes into the drive, you pull into a generic food joint, too starved to find gourmet McDonalds. You make it a point to flick your card and lean over his body to meet the cashier, telling him you’re spotting the meal. Jungkook doesn’t complain, and tells the cashier to add in a vanilla sundae for good measure. 
Color yourself impressed, but you can’t help but gawk as Jungkook expertly sets up his food on the dashboard like a five-star meal, with fries in the cupholder and a burger unwrapped perfectly to catch any spills and to keep his fingers from getting greased up. For such a terrible snowstorm, he pulls out of the joint gracefully, a brief intermission in your long journey. 
“So, is my fiancé’s place far from where you need to be?” 
Jungkook shrugs, a stray fry hanging from his mouth. “It’s not far, not close either. I don’t mind, I like driving.” 
“Do you drive around a lot?” 
“Yeah, for work. It’s a little annoying that I have to spend Christmas alone, but it is what it is.” 
Pausing on your speculation, you take a big bite of your burger. You were hoping that your conversation would spur on a little more detail about his drug-esque job. However, all you start to feel is the heaviness of your fast food meal, stemming from your chest and filling your grease-filled stomach. 
“You’re spending Christmas alone?” you say, and you don’t mean to sound so sad saying it, but the thought of him being alone tonight makes you feel pinched with pain. 
“I can practically feel your puppy-eyes,” Jungkook shakes his head, not even needing to look at you as he focuses on the road. “I’m fine, don’t you worry.” 
“Do you wanna come to the party?” you offer, trying to sound as neutral as possible as you throw the suggestion on the dash.
“Not my thing,” Jungkook scrunches his nose, “with my line of work, I prefer to lay low.” 
Trying not to feel a hurt by the sudden (but expected) rejection, you practically eat your burger whole, eyes glaring on the road. You surmise it’s a valid excuse, drug dealers aren’t exactly one for highly-populated areas and with your fiancé’s reputation, you’re sure his parents would smell Jungkook’s reputation in a micro-minute. 
The drive isn’t anything special. You’re sure if it were spring, the foliage would be pretty and the sun would be setting into melty orange hues by now. It’s all black and white, boring shades that are aggressively pelting at the van and hindering your evening. 
“So, what other character traits do you have?” Jungkook cuts through your semi-brooding, as easily as one slices through butter, “other than the obvious that you’re engaged, and that you’re getting married. And oh yeah, you have a fiancé!” 
You scoff at his cheesy joke, folding your arms together. “I like spending time with my family. Watching movies under a weighted blanket. Plants.” 
His stare dips away from the road for a fraction, enough for you to catch that he’s rolling his eyes, “Fascinating. Not a plant person myself. I like those cute little succulents though. Had a bunch of those in college.” 
“I am also a ramen connoisseur,” you say pointedly, turning up your nose. 
“Ah, are you?” you smile a little when you see Jungkook’s eyes light up at the mention of food, “what’s the criteria for good ramen?” 
“Deep, creamy broth. Also, the egg. Gotta look like a custard-y, eggy sunset. It’s just,” you smack your lips together, mimicking a chef’s kiss, “perfect.” 
He chuckles, and goes on to tell you a story about a ramen shop he’s visited on his travels. It’s one he declares that you need to visit, one he still dreams about often. It takes a ferry and it’s a bit of a trek, but he says it’s worth it, and the eggs are as custard-y and sunset-y as you’d like. 
It’s between pockets of his story and pulling yourself out of this little bubble of a van you realize:  are you flirting with Jungkook? 
The longer this trip goes, the more your stares linger. They linger like the snow that sticks to the ground, unable to do nothing but cling. Layer after layer of confusing feelings, building up to a blizzard that you’re unable to quell. 
“So, your family’s also going to be at your fiancé’s party?” Jungkook asks, poking at yet another one of your personal facets. He’s being blatantly nosy, yet neither of you seem to mind. 
“Oh, no,” you shove your hands in your pockets, “they wanted to stay back in our hometown with the extended family. Y’know, the older members can’t really travel as much as they used to.” 
“Ah, so you’re splitting up your time,” Jungkook drums his hands on the wheel, eyes drooped slightly as he continues along the monotonous road, “your fiancé couldn’t make it?” 
“Couldn’t,” you reply lightly, “just, y’know, work.” 
“Been there, done that,” Jungkook replies, “I’m sure he missed out though. What’s your family like? Are they the type to bake cookies until 3 A.M.? Oh, or do they get wine drunk and talk shit about their annoying cousins—” 
“Jungkook,” the words fly out of your mouth before you can even think, “I’m engaged.” 
The weight of your words holds differently now. A whole day has passed with this man, and you’ve developed an attachment that simultaneously scares and thrills you. Not an hour goes by that you have to think to yourself that you’re taken, to the point that you can’t even tell what’s in your head and what’s being spoken out in the air. 
Instead of a snippy comment, a snarky retort of, “I know, I know!” like you anticipate, Jungkook stops the car. 
There’s no human trace for miles, so it doesn’t scare you when he slows down and pulls off to the side. He gears the car into park, roughly pulling the handle. He lays his arm over the steering wheel, turning his body so he can face you fully. The heat in the car suddenly feels too cloying, and you shrink in the seat as he leans in on you. 
“What is that supposed to mean?” he asks, and from the looks of it, he’s genuinely hurt. 
“I—Jungkook,” you plant your feet on the ground, trying to find some power in this situation, “I mean I, we—you just can’t keep doing this.” 
“Do you feel like I’m trying to steal you away? Or, seduce you or something?” Jungkook is starting to talk himself into a stupor, eyes flickering from the window, to you, to behind you, and back to you. It’s almost jarring, seeing how self-conscious he starts to get without the presence of an audience. Gone is the smooth talker that you met at the terminal, willing to haggle it all for your cash. “Are you uncomfortable? Is it weird I have a crush on you?” 
“Wait, you have a crush on me?” 
He reels back, nearly pressing his head against the window. Jungkook runs a hand through his hair, exhaling deep from his lungs. “Adults still get crushes, y’know.” 
“Yeah, but not to people you met eight hours ago.” 
Jungkook arches a brow, “People fall for people in the most unlikely of ways.” 
That singular statement hits you, hard. 
Jungkook looks like he wants to get out of the van. He seems stuffy, and he unzips his coat and shoves it under his legs. 
“You’re cute,” he echoes the statement like he can’t believe that in a short amount of time, he’s attached to you, “you seem to have good taste, you love family, and your personality isn’t half bad,” the last bit is meant to be teasing, a lighthearted way to end his bout of emotion, but it only makes you ache further, “And it makes me upset knowing that you have to keep convincing yourself that you’re in a relationship that isn’t as fulfilling as you hope. This whole drive, you’ve been anxious about going to his parents, worrying that you’re not going to make it on time instead of relaxing with your family. Where you actually want to be.” 
“I also want to be with Jimin,” you say weakly, a half-hearted attempt to defend yourself. 
You never mentioned your fiancé’s name until this point. It makes Jungkook stiffen a little, finally putting a name to the man that’s supposed to have your heart. It makes the relationship concrete, palpable. 
“I’m sure you do,” Jungkook smacks his lips, evidently sealing the conversation to suffocate under the snow. 
Jungkook puts the car into drive, sliding back into your current route. 
“And to answer your question, Jungkook. No, you having a crush on me is not weird,” and smaller, quieter, you reply, “because it’s weird that I might have a crush on you, too.”
You know that Jungkook catches your statement, because he cranks the volume of the radio harder, effectively shutting you out.  
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The first thing Jungkook says when you finally reach the Park’s house is: “Wow.” 
His van looks completely out of place, parked on the side as limos and Escalades drop off more and more people into the large estate. It’s pouring with elegant piano music, and the large window in the middle of their home reveals a century-old chandelier, crystals beaming and winking against the hundreds of guests that lie underneath. 
The rest of the way driving was almost painfully fast. After that awkward wave of emotion, neither of you said anything. Well, you didn’t at least. Jungkook attempted to clear the air by singing along to the Christmas songs on the radio, but it only further attracted you because to your chagrin—Jungkook’s a pretty good singer. 
The estate isn’t in Seoul persay, it’s a sizable plot of land that definitely comes from old money. It’s decked up like the North Pole, lit up and tiny crystal lines dotting the expanse of the rooftops. The snow certainly adds to it, and many guests are outside taking pictures of the picture-perfect holiday show. The blizzard has finally subsided, leaving a clean blanket of snow across their yard.
You scoff to yourself. What they find to be a Christmas miracle only derailed yours. 
Jungkook stares at you while you send a quick text to Jimin. You tell him he needs to come fast, because you don’t want his parents to see you all sweaty and dressed like you’ve been traveling for hours. 
“Oh, uh,” you finally take a look at him, and you immediately regret it because you’re getting sucked into his gaze, “I think you put my bag in the trunk?” 
“Right,” he shakes his head, “follow me.” 
He tilts his head down when he’s outside, as if the snow’s going to start back up and drown him. Your thumb scratches the ring on your finger as you hop out of the van, effectively popping the bubble the two of you have been sealed in for the better half of the evening. Is this going to be it? Is the last you’ll see of Jeon Jungkook? 
All those thoughts evaporate when Jungkook opens the trunk. 
There’s no drugs. 
In fact, you don’t even know what to think. The van is absolutely filled, wall-to-wall art supplies and canvas carefully lined up like Tetris blocks to avoid damage. The floor of the van seems to receive the brunt of the messes, and you catch recent paint stains and spray cans stacked to the side. It explains the smell. 
There’s some clear cases in a corner, protecting completed prints that are already framed. Your eyes cling to a vibrant hyacinth, coral and satin blue petals bunching in the middle of a black background. It’s absolutely gorgeous, if it wasn’t for all the paint lying around, you’d think it’s real. 
Jungkook’s an artist. 
“Holy shit, I thought you were a drug dealer,” you blurt, and you want to smack yourself in the face. 
 “Excuse me?” Jungkook jerks his head towards you, “did you think I was a drug dealer this whole time?” 
“N-no,” you frown petulantly, letting Jungkook loop your arms through the straps of your backpack. “Maybe. You were very shady.” 
He laughs, a genuine laugh. It confuses you, the way he tucks his hands in his pockets and bends his back over to look up at you through his dark lashes. It’s like nothing’s wrong, like he’s trying to erase the past eight hours and leave with no qualms. You don’t know if that comforts you or terrifies you. 
“So, you were willing to let a potentially dangerous man be your travel partner for eight hours so you can make it to your fiancé’s party?” Jungkook’s eyes flicker over to the front door, “you must really love him.” 
“I do,” you say the phrase like it’s second nature. Rehearsed. Practiced. 
“Merry Christmas,” Jungkook pulls out his hand, and you don’t hesitate to grasp it. 
Liquid heat sparks through your skin, one that tingles from where his large palm encases yours, all the way to your heart. 
“Merry Christmas,” you echo, and your feet feel like lead as you back away from him. 
Jungkook waits until you go inside the house, even though the valet is side eyeing him and mentally telling him to leave already. Turning your back to him is rough, like you’re without snowshoes and you’re trudging through snow. 
The goodbye feels rushed. Your heart is cold and heavy. Unfortunately, by the time you realize you haven’t paid Jungkook for his bus ticket and the ride, it’s too late. Jimin has already pulled you in his awaiting arms, and Jungkook has peeled out of the driveway. 
“You look awful,” Jimin coddles you, dusting the invisible dirt off your jacket. You know Jimin means well by the statement, but you can’t help but feel a little unsupported by his words. You did all you could to make it to Jimin in time for this party full of faceless, nameless people. And yet, Jimin inadvertently manages to put you down for finally making it. 
The hallway is relatively empty, save for one staff member who cleans the wet linoleum floors whenever someone with snow steps in. You can easily make out where the heart of the party is, the tinkly holiday music playing from the speakers, along with all the bodies huddled by the extra large Christmas tree that is brimming with presents. 
You do feel like a wet noodle, in comparison to Jimin and Namjoon’s complementary pinstripe suits. Jimin’s deep burgundy suit pops in the endless hallway of marble and light wood as he quickly leads you upstairs to a spare room for you to change. Namjoon’s more muted grey still looks stunning on him, cutting his tall figure nicely. You think it’s cute that Jimin made an effort to match with his assistant, not making him feel out of place in this big party. 
“I hope you don’t mind,” Namjoon interjects softly, gesturing to the garment bag hanging on the boudoir, “I picked out your dress.” 
“I’m sure whatever you bought is beautiful,” you assure softly, stepping fully into the room. It’s an extra bedroom, you’re assuming it might be yours. 
“We’ll give you some time to freshen up and get ready,” Jimin squeezes your arm, a touch you can barely feel due to the puffiness of your down jacket. It’s just an awkward escape of air to you, a sssttt that you catch Namjoon hiding his smile for, “we’ll walk around a bit and bring you some food.” 
“I want cupcakes,” you blurt impulsively, and the two of them laugh on their way out the door. 
Once you’re finally alone, you strip yourself bare. Jacket, shirt, socks, underwear. You make quick work of taking a hot, damp towel to wash your arms and legs, scrubbing your face of any oil and dirt from the day. You wrap yourself in an indulgent fluffy robe, the plush material comforting you as you flop on the bed. 
It’s been a day. 
You take a five minute cat nap, the weight of the day taking its toll on you. When you finally flutter your eyes open however, you see him. 
It’s not exactly him, it’s his art. It’s mounted right atop the headboard, a large blown up painting of a tiger lily. The orange and gold flecks flicker and go perfectly with the decor of the room. The piece is longing, aching for you to go back to two hours ago when you could’ve phrased your words better, balm the situation into something to salvage. This must be a sign, you think. Upon closer look, you see the signature Jeon JK etched in silver in the corner. Who knew the Parks were buying Jeon Jungkook’s work, the world is smaller than you’d originally thought. 
It ignites you. You rip the zipper of the garment bag, pulling on the slinky glittery gold dress Namjoon picked out for you. It’s gorgeous, and you don’t know how he managed to find your proportions, but you figure an assistant of his caliber has access to many things. You don’t have much time, so you slap on some light makeup and swipe some highlights across your eyes. By the time Jimin returns, you’re pulling your hair up and out of your face. 
Jimin walks to the bed with a pretty red velvet cupcake, “You look beautiful,” he says immediately, and you follow to sit with him at the foot of the bed. 
You don’t hesitate to grab the cupcake from his tea plate, nearly shoving it in your mouth. You definitely need a rush, something to curb you over for the plans you have tonight. “Sugar sugar,” you chant like a mantra, and you don’t care that your lipgloss is smudged and crumbs cling to your cheeks. 
Jimin just rubs circles onto your thigh, letting you eat and relax. He knows you’re not a fan of these kinds of parties, preferring to wallflower it, preferably at  a wall closest to the buffet. His touch is comforting, and you chew slower in order to prolong the inevitable. It takes a beat for you to finish your cupcake. 
“I need to talk to you,” the two of you blurt at the same time, and you point and giggle at each other like you’re still five year olds tinkering in the sandbox. 
Jimin pouts, “Can I go first? Mine’s kind of important.” 
“Mine’s also really important,” you don’t mean to invalidate Jimin, but you really need to get this out. “I might explode if I don’t say this now.” 
The blonde scrunches his nose, obviously weak to your unusual distress, “I guess I wouldn’t want that.” 
You clutch his hand, the hand that holds the plain wedding band he picked out for himself two years ago. Your eyes flicker to how your ring kisses his, “Jimin. I love you, like really love you. I can’t imagine my life without you, you’ve been my best friend since we could crawl. But as I traveled down here, I realized that even though I love you, I think I’m not in love,” you wince at how cheesy that sounds, “I don’t want you to feel like you’re not good enough, but the whole trip down here made me realize I don’t think I can commit to this.” 
“Oh, thank fuck,” you gasp, watching relief wash over Jimin’s features. You’re not even done with your whole spiel and he’s already unbuttoning his blouse, “this makes what I’m about to say a whole lot easier.” 
“Jimin,” you trail off, squeezing his palm, “what do you mean?” 
“I mean, I think I’m in love.” 
Your jaw slackens slightly, seeing the sweat that lines Jimin’s slicked back hair. He must’ve been thinking about this all night, waiting for you to tell you this. Your chest aches, weighing in on all the sudden facts. “Who is it?” you ask. 
Jimin shrugs, “The man who does my taxes and makes sure I sleep at least seven hours a night.” 
“Namjoon,” you conclude, eyes moving to the sealed door. You think Namjoon is waiting out there right now, silently supporting you two as you go through this. Of course, Jimin’s parents would be livid if anything would tarnish his reputation. A broken engagement would be sticky to cover up, and Jimin falling for his assistant is a headline right for the books. 
“I’m sorry,” Jimin whispers, despite the room being vacant he feels the need to keep his words short, “You came all this way to hear this. But I guess we’re on the same page, huh?” His soft fingers make a beeline for your ring finger, removing the diamond band, “And by the way, I love you too. Which is why we’re going to come clean in the morning and work this out with my parents, together. I’m sorry if you felt obligated to follow me all this time just because our parents did.” 
“Hey, like you said, we’re in this together. Both in and out,” you chastise, pulling your engagement ring from his grasp and holding it to the light. “Can I keep this? Instead of an engagement band, it can be our best friend band. I’ll even get it re-sized so it can go on another finger.” 
Jimin pulls you into his arms, crushing you. The silky material of your dress bunches and rides, but you don’t care. The two of  you can’t help but be a little crybaby-ish about it, feeling much like your younger-selves when you had to pull each other out of trouble. 
The two of you walk out of the bedroom hand-in-hand, and Namjoon is leaning against the banister in the hallway, a soft smile melting on his tanned skin. 
“I’m so happy for you,” you gush, hugging Namjoon tightly. You’ve only known the man for a few months, but you can tell he’s taking care of Jimin and that’s enough for you. 
“I… really thought you’d be more upset.” Namjoon marvels, patting your back. 
Jimin interjects, “I think she’s found someone hotter than me.” 
“Impossible!” 
You could stay at this party, lay low until you and Jimin have to confront his parents in the morning. They suggest to get all the food they need and sneak out to the home theatre. The three of you hustle it down the stairs to another part of the house, in order for you to make your getaway and avoid Jimin’s family. 
“Hey,” you stop in front of another painting, pulling the two men to a stop. Your eyes lock on a framed droopy peony, tipped with pink dye. You realize you can’t stay here, not when someone’s home alone tonight. “Namjoon, I need you to locate someone for me.” 
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Jungkook does not expect to see you at his front door. 
You’re stunning, and look as breathless as he feels. The liquid champagne number that hugs your frame does things to him, and he’s strangely attracted to the fact that you paired this expensive dress with your snow-drenched trainers. 
You showing up at the wee hours of the morning was the last thing Jungkook thought would happen. It’s nothing short of a holiday event, you look like you’ve just walked out of a gala and then ran a marathon to reach him. 
He thought when he said goodbye, it would be the last time you’d cross paths. At first, he was okay with that. After all, feelings come and go, and spontaneity only works a percentage of the time. Seeing you presently however, throws all those half-hearted concedings out the window. 
“Hi,” you finally say, drinking from the fact that you actually found him. 
“Hey,” Jungkook breathes, “you look, beautiful.” 
“Thanks,” you smile. 
“So, is this about you not paying me back for the ticket?” Jungkook suddenly feels guilty, having dipped out of Jimin’s manor once he saw him appear at the door. It was unrightful jealousy, and because of that he needed to drive away as fast as possible. “Because honestly, it was me messing with you. I really don’t need the money.” 
“I figured, from the fact that I had to take the elevator up to the penthouse of the building.” 
“So then why are you here?” Jungkook wobbles on the balls of his feet, unsure of what to do with himself. 
“My ex-fiancé is in love with someone else,” you lay your cards out just like that, and Jungkook’s unprepared to deal.  
“Holy shit, I’m so sorry—” 
“Let me finish,” you cut in gently, “my ex-fiancé is in love with someone else, and that’s okay. We’ve been best friends since we were little, and we want nothing but happiness for each other. And for me? Happiness is right in front of me.” 
You bite your lip, and Jungkook fights down the urge to run up and pull you into his arms. You must be so cold, running out without a jacket and rushing to his home. However, he lets you finish, and he holds himself down by clutching the door frame as casually as possible. 
“I also have a big, fat crush on you,” you say boldly, “and I had to tell you as soon as I could. It took a twenty-minute phone call and some serious leverage from Jimin’s company to figure out where you lived. That receptionist is definitely not letting me use my frequent flyer miles next flight.” 
“You harassed an airport receptionist just for me?” he smiles wanly, placing a hand on his chest, “I’m touched.” 
“You make me excited to try new things, to be spontaneous and do things for myself,” with every statement you take a step further, and soon enough you’re in his dimly lit apartment. The plush couch in his living room looks awfully warm and comfy, and the light music that plays from his speakers is soft and soothing. “So, let’s spend the holidays together and see where this goes. And go to your art gallery tomorrow, because I did research you on the drive and found out you had to rush here because of a big show.” 
“So you’re actually a stalker?” Jungkook teases, tugging you over to the couch. 
He takes the lead, plopping himself on the couch first and inviting you to sit next to him. You take a detour and plant your body atop of him, and with an ‘oof’ the two of you are sinking. 
“A stalker and a potential drug dealer does sound like a promising pair,” Jungkook jests, his hand palming the silky material of your ruched up ball gown. 
“I’m sorry,” you pout, wrapping your fingers around the long tresses of his hair, “can you please stop bringing that up? It was judgemental of me.” 
“I like when you’re judgemental,” he pokes your puppy-faced cheeks, ruddied with embarrassment. “I like picking fights with you and getting you all riled up.” 
“Will you rile me up now?” 
Sexy, he thinks. He figures a vixen has been hidden under you, one suppressed by a complicated engagement and many other factors he’d love to learn about in the near future. The situation at hand however, is far more pressing. Your body is finally warming up, and Jungkook tries to ignore the weight your body is causing, re-igniting an ache he felt hours ago when you two were squished against each other in the coach bus.
“I’m going to kiss you now,” you declare, and you look a little frustrated that Jungkook is taking so long to process this information, “and I hope I take your breath away.” 
You taste like sugar and the softness that comes with the holidays. It’s tender and oh-so comforting, and Jungkook can’t help but squeeze your hips closer as your lips brush fervently against his. The feeling is both new and old, and Jungkook figures you’ve finally uncoiled a flame that you can no longer quell. 
Soon enough your kisses turn hungry, and Jungkook has to remind himself that you two have only known each other for a total of twelve hours, and he isn’t sure of what’s appropriate to jump to due to the speed of your relationship. Once he feels the first roll of your hips, a liquid heat that Jungkook can’t help but return back, he pulls away from your soft lips. Not too far, but a few centimeters apart so that Jungkook and you can catch your breath. 
“We should take this slow,” he starts, trying to make a reasonable impression now that you’re a guest at his home and finally settled from their long trip. “I really, really want to get to know you. And you’re so beautiful and I really do want to have sex but—” 
“Jungkook, I have not had sex with someone in two years,” you speak with a depraved tone, as if it’s been centuries since you’ve been touched. He can’t help but throw his head back and laugh, “a night full of sex sounds like the best last-minute present ever.” 
You bring his hand over to your core, the shiny glassy material of your gown doing nothing to hide the glimpses of pleasure you’re minutes away from experiencing. You whine desperately at the thought, and Jungkook’s a goner. 
“Well, I guess I’m about to pull a Christmas miracle,” he murmurs against your lips, ready to work his magic. 
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blu-joons · 3 years ago
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When He Meets His Long Distance Partner For The First Time ~ The Boyz Reaction
Sangyeon:
Your hand tapped nervously against the top of your leg as you watched the corners of Sangyeon’s mouth turn up into a smile in response to your good news.
Your own smile grew too as he leant in closer to the screen with his hands pressed to the top of his head. “You’re really going to come to Seoul? This isn’t a wind up, right?”
Your head instantly shook, “I promise it’s not a wind up, I’ve got some holiday to use up.”
“I don’t know what to say,” he chuckled, throwing his head back in disbelief, “when are you coming? How long for? There’s so many places I want to be able to take you too.”
“We’ve still got a couple of weeks to organise everything, it’s alright.”
With a shaky breath, Sangyeon’s head nodded back at you, “of course, although I don’t really care what we do, just finally being able to spend time with you will be nice enough.”
“I agree,” you concurred, “it doesn’t matter what we’re doing, just being in Seoul is enough.”
Your eyes flickered back up to the screen as Sangyeon continued to stare, “I can’t believe I finally get to see you, properly, in real life and right beside me.”
“I’ll be there in no time, not too long to wait now.”
Jacob:
Your eyes instantly lit up as you looked around the lounge, finding Jacob sat down at the end of a row of benches, scrolling aimlessly through his phone as he waited.
Your speed picked up and in no time at all your figure was stood before him. “Hi,” he nervously whispered as he looked up and saw you stood in front of him.
Arms instantly wrapped around your waist as you dropped your suitcase, “hi, how are you?”
“So good,” he chuckled as he squeezed you tightly against his chest, “I can’t believe you’ve finally managed to get over here, and you’re definitely a real person as well.”
“I’ve always been real,” you laughed, “or did you think I was a super smart catfish.”
His head shook back at you as he pulled away so that he could meet your eyes, “I never imagined how it would really feel to be able to meet you in person, that’s all.”
“Does it feel good to finally meet me in person though?” You asked back across to him.
His head nodded straight away, “it feels amazing, I feel like I might need you to pinch me a few times to let this sink in and not let me wake up.”
“You’re not dreaming, I really am here before you.”
Younghoon:
As you lifted the plane ticket up so that it crossed over the screen, you heard a loud gasp from the screen as Younghoon leaned forwards to the camera.
His hand beckoned for you to move the ticket back where he could see it, “please tell me I’m not dreaming when that destination says to Seoul.”
Your head shook gently, “one ticket to Seoul in two weeks, that’s exactly what it says.”
“That makes this all feel so real,” he whispered in a slight haze of disbelief, “you’re really going to be here in two weeks, and not just a face on my screen anymore.”
“Hopefully we can be a bit more normal too and see the same time of day.”
A soft chuckle escaped from Younghoon, “at last I don’t have to wait until the end of my day to speak to you, but instead I can spend the entirety of my day with you.”
“Sounds pretty cool, right?” You smiled, relieved as Younghoon’s smile grew too.
His head moved back away from the camera once again, “I don’t know how I’m going to be able to wait, I just want you to fly over right now and never leave Seoul.”
“We’ve lasted months already, a couple more weeks will be nothing.”
Hyunjae:
Your eyes looked around in bemusement as you stepped foot in Jaehyun’s room for the very first time, taking in all the sights that you’d seen so many times before.
It was different on a screen though, which Jaehyun quickly realised. “I bet it feels pretty strange to be in the room you’ve seen as my background for such a long time.”
Your head nodded in agreement, “I never really pictured this room as a real place, that’s all.”
“A bit like how we never pictured each other as real,” he sympathised, “you’ll get used to this place being real soon enough, it’s home at least for now anyway.”
“I never pictured myself getting here one day on our calls.”
His smile widened as he took a seat on the edge of his bed, inviting you to join him, “why don’t I show you around a bit, that way you might feel a bit more comfortable.”
“What’s there to show me that I haven’t already seen before?” You asked with intrigue.”
His hand extended to point across to a new addition to his room, “I had to create a little spot for you, so that it felt like you’re home too.”
“That’s adorably sweet of you, but your home is also mine.”
Juyeon:
Your body jumped slightly at the feeling of a pair of arms wrapping around you, preventing you from placing anything else into your suitcase to pack your belongings up.
As you turned your head slightly, your eyes met Juyeon’s. “I don’t want you to go tomorrow, it feels like you’ve only just arrived still, doesn’t it?”
You smiled weakly with a sigh, “I wish I could stay, but I’ve got too much going on at home.”
“This could be your home,” he frowned, resting his chin against your shoulder, “I know I’ve joked about it all week, but would moving to Seoul be so bad, I’d be here with you.”
“Life isn’t that easy Ju, it’s not something I can do straight away.”
His head nodded softly, “I’ll hold onto the hope that one day things might be able to change for the two of us, that’s all that I need for now anyway.”
“Neither of us know what the future will hold for either of us,” you assured him.
“As long as you’re there, I don’t mind,” he whispered into your ear, “whether you’re here or at home, none of that matters to me, as long as I have you.”
“You’ll have me, somewhere around the world I’ll be there.”
Kevin:
Your head shook as you walked into arrivals to notice a large banner held up in the crowd with your name written on it, and a figure jumping up and down holding onto it.
As soon as Kevin spotted you, the banner fell as his arms reached out for you, “I was worried you wouldn’t see me,” he laughed as he followed your gaze.
Your eyes rolled back at him, “was a banner that big really necessary for me to spot you?”
“I wanted to make your arrival special,” he proudly smiled, “and I knew it would make you happy too, I know you’re impressed by the banner really, I worked on it all night long.”
“It’s perfect, but only because you’re the one who made it.”
His arm snaked around your waist tightly, “if you thought the banner was good, you just wait and see the rest of the things I have planned for you this week.”
“Is it too late to consider getting a flight back home?” You teased in response to him.
“No!” He yelled, tightening his grip around you, “I’ve waited too long for this moment, there’s no way I’m letting go of you all week, you’re mine.”
“I guess we’ll just have to leave the banner here then, right?”
New:
The noise that hit you as you walked into the studio left you stunned, your eyes met Chanhee’s as he looked around to face you, noticing how slow your pace was as you walked.
Your head shook, but he had already pushed the door open as several pairs of eyes flickered around. “Members, meet Y/N,” Chanhee smiled, excited to finally introduce you.
Your eyes darted around as a tall figure approached, “we’ve waited so long to finally meet you.”
“At least now he’ll stop talking about you too,” another voice quickly interjected, drawing your attention across the room to where you recognised Kevin’s face.
“I’m sure he doesn’t talk about me, I’m hardly that interesting.”
Kevin’s head shook back at you, ignoring the glare that Chanhee shot him. “I’ve recorded him a few times, I could play them for you if you wanted me too.”
“Maybe later, there’s too many of you to meet properly first,” you joked with them all.
Chanhee quickly appeared by your side and agreed with you, “I’m not letting you guys embarrass me when Y/N has only just arrived in the country.”
“Chan, you’re normally capable of just embarrassing yourself.”
Q:
A nervous giggle came from you as you looked across at Changmin who sat beside you in the car, quickly looking away when you realised that he had heard you.
His hand reached across the car to grab onto your hand, “why are you still so shy?” He whispered, squeezing your hand to encourage you to look back at him.
Your head shook anxiously, “I guess it still doesn’t quite feel real that we’re physically together.”
“I guess it does feel a little odd still,” he agreed, offering you a smile, “we’re so used to just talking online, and suddenly we’re able to do so much more and spend more time together.”
“I never imagined that seeing you in real life would make me even happier.”
His hand squeezed against yours once again, “I’m just glad that you’re happy here in Seoul, and that you’re happy being here with me as well.”
“Seoul is amazing, and so are you,” you assured him, “better than I ever could have imagined.”
“I’m glad to hear it,” he acknowledged, leaning in closer to you, “and just so you know, you’re pretty cool yourself, I feel very lucky to be here with you.”
“Stop being cute before you really do turn my cheeks red.”
Juhaknyeon:
As your eyes flickered up from the menu, you quickly noticed Haknyeon’s eyes darting downwards to look through the menu, keeping quiet as you stared across at him.
After a few moments he looked up, noticing your eyes still firmly on him. “I don’t mean to stare; it still just feels pretty surreal that you’re in front of me right now.”
A soft laugh came from you, “would you prefer if I went back to being a laptop screen instead?”
“No way,” he chuckled, closing his menu and placing it in front of him, “being with you in person is ten times better than speaking to a screen in front of me.”
“I’ve spotted you staring at me multiple times through the week.”
A sigh gently escaped him, “I keep staring to remind myself that this is happening, I’ve dreamt about this for so long sometimes I question whether I still am dreaming.”
“What can I do to prove to you that all of this isn’t a dream at all?” You asked.
His hand lifted, using his index finger to tap against his cheek, “a kiss would be a pretty handy reminder that all of this is real right now to be honest.”
“I definitely think I can do that, any excuse to kiss you is good with me.”
Sunwoo:
Your body froze as you saw a man before you who looked just like Sunwoo, furrowing your brows together to work out whether it was really him before you or not.
As they took a few steps towards you, their smile widened. “Are you going to stand there all day?” They laughed, closing the distance between you both.
Your head shook as it slowly began to sink in, “Sunwoo? You really are real? Can I hug you?”
“Of course,” he laughed, opening his arms out for you to walk into, “I thought for a moment I’d got the wrong girl with the way that you looked at me.”
“I just didn’t know what to expect from this moment.”
His smile widened as he engulfed you gently, “neither did I, but that’s what makes it all the more special, the fact that we can just be ourselves.”
“I don’t know what to do, I think I’m just stunned,” you admitted back to him.
His head nodded understandingly, “just let it sink in for a moment that I really am this handsome in real life and then I promise you’ll be alright.”
“You’re impossible, even if you are incredibly handsome too.”
Eric:
Every corner that you turned came with a new surprise as Youngjae introduced you to the place he called home and the many sights that were around too.
As another gasp came from you, he decided to finally speak up. “Many of these buildings that you see right now are on our itinerary for this week.”
Your eyes moved across to look at him, “but they’re all so big and fancy, are you sure?”
“Of course,” he laughed, “I told you that I was going to show you the best that Seoul had to offer, plus they’re not as fancy as they look, most of them are pretty boring.”
“I’ve never seen anything like this before, it’s a far cry from what I call home.”
His head nodded back at you, “you get to explore a different part of the world with me, and I promise that by the end of this week you’ll love Seoul as well as you love me.”
“I’ve already fallen in love with Seoul, almost as quickly as I did you,” you complimented.
The corners of Youngjae’s mouth widened quickly, “you’ll have the time of your life being here, just you wait and see, you won’t ever want to go home.”
“Don’t say that I already wish I could be here forever with you.”
---
Masterlist
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sourholland · 4 years ago
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Ooooh angst “what about us?” “there is no us, there never was.” with tom plssss! Really love ur work 🌸
Last Kiss || Tom Holland
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Summary → After a fling you and Tom had started while filming a movie together, he tells you that you two can’t be together anymore. Once you get home, Tom let’s you know that he made a mistake.
AN → This was supposed to come out yesterday, I just got lazy and waited to edit it. I can’t tell if I like how this came out or hate it, either way, I hope you guys like this. Also in honor of the Fearless re-record!!
Pairing(s) → Tom Holland x Fem!Reader
Warnings → Strong Language, Suggestive, Alcohol Use
Prompt(s) → 38
Word Count → 1.9k
The ringing of your phone sounded through your apartment loudly, the sound of the rain pattering loudly against the windows out-looking New York City. You set down the remote, feet padding against the cold hardwood while you looked for your buzzing cellphone.
You didn’t bother glancing at the caller ID, picking it up bringing it to your ear all in one quick motion.
“Hello?” You said, pulling a wine glass down from the cabinet.
“Y/N?” Tom’s voice came through the phone.
Your heart dropped, a breath catching in your throat while you stood in your kitchen. He was across the country, wanting nothing to do with you. He repeated your name through the phone, asking if you were there.
“Yeah, I’m here,” you answered, pouring more wine than you’d originally intended into the glass.
“Isn’t it like one in the morning in England?” You asked, listening to the muffles coming through the speaker.
“Yeah—yeah, it’s late here. I just couldn’t sleep, and I started to think of you. Sorry, I probably shouldn’t have called.”
You sat at one of the barstools, swirling the red contents of the glass around. You wanted to yell at him, or maybe you wanted to tell him how much you loved him. You sat silently for a few moments, bare legs cold from the draft.
“Tom,” you started. “I just don’t get why we have to rehash the past, you know? I came back to New York, just like you told me I should. You’re working on whatever new movie, I’m doing the same. I don’t know—I just think we should leave whatever happened between us alone. You made it very clear that it was me that you didn’t want,” you mumbled, pulling at the sleeves of your sweater.
He audibly sighed, the ruffling of sheets coming through the phone. He was probably in bed, if he wasn’t so far away you’d have asked him if this was a sad attempt at getting you to sleep with him.
“I was fucking stupid, and I’m sorry, Y/N. I’m so fucking sorry, I’ve said that a million times,” his voice was hoarse and tired.
“I’ve already forgiven you, Tom. I just can’t keep doing this—this thing with you.”
You both went quiet for a minute, the only sound being the noise from outside in the bustling streets of the city and the rain. You knew you should hang up, block his number and forget about anything you two ever had. You’d tried a few times, unable to bring yourself to doing it.
“What about us?” He asked lowly, a twinge of hurt in his tired voice.
“There is no us, Tom,” you replied. “I’m not even sure there ever was.”
He didn’t say anything, you wanted to let out the repressed cry and tell him you didn’t mean it. That you were sorry and that you thought about him more than you’d like to admit. Something in you knew if you didn’t do your best to cut it off, you two would continue down the same everlasting cycle.
“Okay,” he said.
“Okay.”
The line went silent for a moment, and then your home screen lit up. The call had been ended. You downed the remainder of your wine, ditching the cup and just going for the bottle. You thought about calling him back, about apologizing and booking a plane ticket like some lovesick teenager.
You opened Instagram and began scrolling through your feed of posts, liking and commenting occasionally. You weren’t anywhere near drunk, merely tipsy and heartbroken. Your finger lingered on the button to go live, wondering if you really wanted thousands of people to see you in this state.
You left the kitchen and instead propped your phone against the couch, taking a seat on the white rug of your living room. You wearily pressed the go live button, raising the bottle to your chapped lips once more. You are pathetic, you thought.
“Hey guys!” You smiled at the camera and outpouring of greetings in the comments. Within a few minutes you’d racked in a few thousand viewers. You grabbed the guitar sitting against your wall and strummed the cords lightly while it sat in your lap.
userone: you are so adorable
usertwo: can you please say hi?!!!??
userthree: it’s my birthday y/n!
“I’m sorry I haven’t been very active on social media, guys. It’s been super crazy traveling back and forth from London to New York and then having to leave again in a few weeks. And now I’m sitting on my living room floor with a bottle of wine,” you laughed. A few familiar people popped into the comments of the live, some you’ve worked with and some you’ve yet to meet in person.
florencepugh: y/n!!!
gracieabrams: might just bust out the wine just for u
“Florence, I can’t wait to see you soon!” You smiled, “Gracie, I swear it’s making everything like a hundred times better.”
userfour: i’m in love with her
userfive: y/n saving 2021???!!!
“I’m not even sure what I’m supposed to be singing,” you flushed. You did sing, before getting into acting you’d post a lot on Instagram and TikTok. It’d always been more of a hobby, something you loved to do, but weren’t good enough to pursue.
“I’ve had a little too much to drink,” you added. “So don’t get upset if I’m a little pitchy, guys.”
usersix: if she’s pitchy i’m not sure what i am
userseven: sing taylor swift!!!
“Okay, okay!” You chuckled, scrolling through the hundreds of comments saying to play Taylor Swift. You’d only just been crying to like three of her albums a few hours before.
“How about the chorus—and maybe the bridge too, yeah, that’ll work,” you mumbled to yourself, fiddling with the strings. “Alright, guys, Last Kiss it is. I won’t bore you all with the whole thing, though. I could never do Taylor justice.”
“And I’ll go sit on the floor, wearing your clothes”
Getting involved with him was singlehandedly the most stupid decision you’ve ever made, you thought. Late nights in his flat after long nights on set, ordering in and just talking, you two would talk as if you’d known each other your whole lives. It was something about the way he’d let you wear his clothes, or the way he’d tuck your hair behind your ear while you told him about whatever insignificant thing that had happened that day.
“All that I know,
I don’t know how to be something you miss”
The car ride to the airport was the worst, it was grey and cold outside. There was makeup running down your face, mascara covering your eyes generously. You’d wrapped filming a week earlier, unable to bring yourself to walk away from him.
You couldn’t tell the driver to turn you around, or could you? Tom had already made it clear that you were both in different places in your career. This wasn’t what he wanted. You weren’t what he wanted.
“I never thought we’d have our last kiss”
He had held you just a little tighter, you ran your fingers through his hair for just a second longer. The taste of each other lingering on the both of your lips. Like you knew it would be the last time he’d hold you without knowing.
His stupid smiled, the way he pulled away and ran his thumb over your swollen bottom lip. You were almost wrapped around his finger, absolutely sickened with desire and infatuation for him.
“I never imagined we’d end like this,
Your name, forever the name on my lips”
The day you’d left to come home to New York started with a huge argument between the two of you. He’d basically just told you that you’d both known from the beginning you wouldn’t last together. It wasn’t a matter of how much you cared for one another, but that it was impossible, as he put it.
His eyes glossed over and bloodshot, you a complete and utter mess. Slamming the door behind you as you left was one of the most painful things you’d ever endured. Even more painful, the fact that he never came after you.
“So I’ll watch your life in pictures like I used to watch you sleep”
“I can feel you staring at me, love,” he murmured against the pillow.
Your face heated, eyes averting to the stream of light through the sheerness of the curtains. He leaned into you a moment later, his lips soft on your own. He was warm, he was always so warm. You cupped the side of his face gently, pulling him in a bit harder.
“And I feel you forget me like I used to feel you breathe”
You dropped your bags, stepping into your apartment after months of being away. It felt quieter than usual, desolate and empty from your being away. It was dark out, the illumination of the bright city lights from your windows.
You glanced down at your phone for a moment, not a missed call, not a text, not even a fucking notification. He’d simply told you to go home, nothing more nothing less.
“I keep up with our old friends just to ask them how you are,
Hope it’s nice where you are”
You’d texted Harrison a few times, regretting it almost immediately after. He was sweet, telling you that Tom would come around eventually and to just be patient. You’d relied on those kind words for some time, eventually deleting them all together.
After Tom’s first text, you’d realized he wasn’t coming around or regretting what he’d said to you. He was lonely, maybe even a bit desperate. For months you had been there to listen to him and hold him, and now you were gone.
You’d fed into it the first few times, sitting on the phone with him for hours at a time. Then you started to feel worse hearing his voice, silent sobs escaping as you’d listen to him ramble. Then your finger would linger over the decline button a little longer than usual when he’d call, until eventually you started to use it.
“And I hope the sun shines and it’s a beautiful day,
And something reminds you,
You wish you had stayed”
Once you started to go out with other guys, Tom’s ‘I miss you’ texts became more infrequent. Paparazzi would snap pictures, and the next morning they’d be plastered all over the internet.
There was no doubt he was seeing you going out with other people, watching article after article about who you were dating surface. Would he be jealous? No, you thought. Tom was probably doing the same thing as you. Hopeless hookups, meaningless blind dates.
“You can plan for a change in the weather and time”
One early morning, you found yourself in a sweatshirt you’d stolen from one of his drawers and forgotten to return. Listening to the morning rush of traffic and hugging yourself, noticing the lingering smell of his cologne.
You wondered if he knew you’d taken it, if he would think you were pathetic wearing it months after you two had broken things off. This only made you clutch yourself a little tighter, closing your eyes and trying to remember.
“But I never planned on you changing your mind”
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ddosie · 3 years ago
Note
# 2 and soobin for the prompt please!
you wouldn't say you were the sentimental type.
things came and went. kids grew into adults. that was just how life was. people grew apart, sometimes closer, and it was all expected.
you just never thought you would have to face it yourself.
it was a problem that you had only read about in story books. the handmaiden watches the price she fell in love with get married. she moves on. the king lets go of the memories of his favorite knight. he moves on. the queen loses her son, her only son. she moved on.
they all moved on. so why couldn't you?
"class! class! let's start this school year by introducing ourselves! i'll go first. my name is ms. hilton, and i'm your english teacher for this year! i've worked at this school for a long time now, and i can't wait to teach all of you kids!
okay, now that i've done my introduction, shall we go along the classroom and introduce ourselves? starting from you sir, yes you with the white and black sneakers. please start by telling us your name and a fun fact about yourself."
you watched as the said boy stood up, pushing his hair back with his hand.
"uh... hi everyone, i'm soobin, and one fun fact about me is i went to Europe this year."
as the next person got up to introduce themselves, you found yourself staring at him.
jeez, he was tall for a middle schooler.
the sun is filtering through the blinds in your room, and rays of light are being painted across the walls. everything is a golden color, from the desk to the bedside.
"so... what topic are we choosing for this project?" you watched through the lens of your glasses as soobin furrowed his brow.
"do you think, maybe aristotle?" you nodded your head eagerly, so soobin stood up and walked over to the teachers desk. a second later he sent you a thumbs up.
"aristotle it is."
you twirled your pen in your fingers as soobin took a seat. "hey do you want to work on the project with me over the weekend? i know a really good café...?"
there was a small smile on your face, and you nodded.
"yeah sure, what time?"
you got up from your chair, grabbing a camera. in this lighting, the room was just too pretty to not take a picture of.
"y/n, for someone of that height, there is no reason you should be walking that fast."
you sent a small smile to the long-legged boy trying to catch up with you in the hallway.
"if you don't want to be late to class bin, you're going to have to put those legs to work."
you let soobin catch up with you, and you slowed down your pace from thereon so the two of you could walk side by side. soobin pointed at the trophy shelf.
"do you think we'll win this year too? i hope we do, yeonjun promised a party at his house if we get placed first."
you gave soobin a reassuring pat on his arm.
"you'll be finneee... if you win, i'll take you out to icecream after."
the boy turned to look at you, a smile creeping into his eyes.
"really?"
"really."
fiddling around with the camera, you brushed the light dust that had collected on the top off. you watched as the particles were swept away, dancing in the dying sunlight.
"we should do this every year."
you turned to look at soobin lying next to you, ice-cream sandwhich in one hand, while the other was tucked behind him, supporting his head. he was looking above, admiring the night sky.
"you mean climb some random apartment stairs to get to rooftops? and risk our lives every season game to see a different view of the city at night?"
soobin let out a small laugh. "yeah, well when you put it that way, it does sound bad." you smiled, lying down with your own ice-cream sandwich, propping an arm under your head.
"...i meant the icecream tradition. you'll be there for my next season game, right?"
now it was your turn to admire the night sky.
"of course. i wouldn't miss it for the world"
grabbing a tissue, you went to work at the camera, cleaning dust from all crevices and corners of the lenses. you were surprised. when was the last time you had even taken a photo on this thing?
"hey bin, what's up?"
grabbing your phone and placing it on your desk, you made yourself comfortable, ready for any facetime tea he would spill.
"ah, y/n..." you watched as he ran a hand through his hair from the other side of the screen. "i don't think... i don't think i'll be able to make it to your birthday this year."
there was a quiet silence. you felt like you'd been punched in the gut.
"if i can ask, um, why?" you fiddled with the hem of your hoodie, waiting for an answer.
"the schedules for the basketball game lineups just came out, and the final season game is happening on your birthday. i just wanted to tell you in case we do win that far and i won't be able to come."
you decided to smile at the way soobin had said just in case they win. the two of you were in your sophomore year, and he hadn't lost a game since middle school.
"yeah, don't worry about it soob. we can still get icecream after."
you felt a turn in your stomach when the boy gave you a relived smile, running a hand through his hair again.
"that's all i wanted to say, i've got to go now"
"hm? why?"
"chem tutoring. these freshman are horrible at science."
adjusting the camera, you zoomed in on random objects in your room. the bookshelf. your water bottle. the lamp. click. click. click.
“did you hear? that senior yeonjun will be throwing a bigger party than last year! are you going y/n?”
you shrugged. “when is it?”
“I think it‘ll be this saturday.”
"can’t. I’ll be out of town”
"for what?
“college. I sent an early application, and one of them reached out and wants me to tour the campus. if i go, I’ll have a guaranteed spot next year, and I probably won’t have to apply to any others.”
your friend let out a low whistle and patted your head.
"well when you put it like that, I guess you really can’t go… but maybe we could get something after the game? i heard the ice cream place was still open”
just like that, a mere sentence felt like a silent punch to the gut.
you looked away from your friends face, scanning the cafeteria unknowingly. you were met with the view of a senior tussling soobin's hair, an arm slung across his neck. you could hear their loud conversation even from where you were sitting.
"you coming to my house after the game? me and the guys we're planning to get some icecream and stay over at my house for the night."
you thought you saw something flash in soobins eye's before he smiled, nodding in agreement.
abruptly standing up, you tossed an apology to your friend about how you wouldn't be able to make it and you had just remembered you had some important emails to send. you didn't want to be around when the words of confirmation came out of his mouth itself.
so much for a flash. the last time you had icecream with him was two years ago.
adjusting the lens once more, you caught your eye on a ticket stuck between two books on your desk. you slowly pulled it out. it was blue and grey, your school colors. there was a hole punched on the bottom, indicating it was used.
"and it's the last two minutes of the game, and hybe high is in the lead! if they can make this basket, it will guarantee a regional win for the school. oh! there goes hyunjin... passing to donghyuck who... also just passed to eric who, jeez, passed to soobin...! look at that! look at that!! we are in the last minute everyone, and if captain of hybe high makes this basket, like i said they will be the regional winners!!"
you let the sound of the announcer wash over you, leaning forward in your seat to watch the game.
for some reason you kept coming back. to this gym. to the basketball games.
to soobin.
it had been over a year since the two of you had really talked, the last icecream run being well over three years ago (a promise to go before your birthday was conveniently broken), and the last facetime was to ask for calculus answers.
you knew that you had faded out of the life of the star basketball player.
you just couldn't accept it.
"and soobin gets closer to the rim... oh! it looks like taehyun from bighit acadmy is a pretty good blocker... anyways look at him go! we have twenty second left, and even if he doesn't score hybe is still in for a win... okay, okAY?? WAIT WHAT!! WHAT!!"
there's a loud screech of the intercom that mixes with the cheers of the crowd. you found yourself on your feet, fists pumping in the air in celebration alongside the students in the bleachers despite yourself.
"AND CHOI SOOBIN SECURES THE PLACE OF HYBE HIGH IN DISTRICT REGIONALS!! ONCE AGAIN THE ACE HAS TOPPED EVERYONE AND BRANG HIS TEAM TO VICTORY!!"
you held the ticket tenderly. on the backside was stamped senior, a marker that counted as a discount for the upperclassmen that wanted to watch the game. flipping it over again, you felt a wave of something hit your stomach as you took in the grey and blue.
"hey y/n, wait up!"
you whipped around at the sound of an all too familiar voice.
there, stood soobin, in all his six foot and one inch glory.
"you.." he panted, hands on his knees as if he had run a million miles. "you walk too fast. what's the rush? you were cheering for me so loudly."
there was that feeling again. of being punched in the gut. by that invisible hand that seemed to favor your stomach whenever soobin was around.
"ah, you know... just getting home."
you tried not to stare too long. soobin had grown, matured. the baby face he donned as a middle schooler was gone, only his dimples a reminder of the childhood smiles you shared together.
"you're not... going anywhere? going straight home?"
you gave him a small smile. "...yeah. i'm going soon, so i really need to pack. good game though! you really did good this time around."
"going soon... to where y/n? are you taking a road trip without me?" you sensed a wary tone under his teasing words. three years apart, and this was the news you would have to tell him. curse the fates.
"yup! im, ah... moving cross country. i got accepted a while back."
you could already see the question in his eyes. how far? which major? on campus or near?
why didn't you tell me?
there was a moment of silence while you rocked back and forth on your heels. soobin pushed his hair back, looking into your eyes.
the heaviness of a thousand unanswered questions weighed in the air.
"so... want to catch up over icecream?"
as you held the basketball ticket from senior year, you realized three things.
one: you were the sentimental type. you clung onto old memories and good times like they were life jackets, keeping you afloat in the mundanity of your new life.
two: you didn't really like the idea of always moving on. it seemed so easy in the story books, that after a couple years the queen goes back to her ordinary life, the king appoints a new knight, and the princess finds someone she truly loved. but was there a time where you would just stop caring? was there a day you would wake up and didn’t think about what could have happened, the if only’s and what if’s?
three: you couldn't move on. you prided yourself on being able to move faster, walking a pace before everyone else. life was a journey, and you were going places. quite literally. you were floating when everyone was sinking.
but you were only floating because you had your life jacket.
...
things came and went. kids grew into adults. that was just how life was. people grew apart, sometimes closer, and it was all expected.
you clutched the ticket in your hand, the end slightly wrinkled by your fingers.
you just never thought you would have to face it yourself.
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outerbankspreferences · 4 years ago
Text
Flight - Rudy Pankow
A/N: This makes Elaine out to be a bitch, but I don’t think she is. I support her and Rudy 100% and think they make a wonderful couple. It was more for the plot. 
Word Count: 1885
MASTERLIST
Flying had never been a problem before. You’ve never had to film anywhere that you couldn’t drive to. You had done some acting jobs around LA, and one time you went to Nashville before getting a part in Season 2 for Outer Banks. Netflix had offered to pay for you to fly out to North Carolina, but you opted for driving instead. You didn’t know anyone you were filming with, so you drove yourself.
Of course, you had been dreading filming in Barbados since you got the part. You had the biggest fear of flying and had been avoiding it since you were little. When you got the email from Netflix that contained your ticket to say that you were panicked was an understatement. Drew, Chase, and Maddie C. were already in Barbados, so it was going to be you, Rudy, Jonathan, Elaine and Maddie B. Everyone was just going to carpool to the airport. 
Rudy had a thing for you since he met you at the first table read for season 2. You were shy at first but quickly came out of your shell when you started to get to know everyone. Rudy thought you were hilarious and enjoyed your company so that’s what caused him to be knocking on your door the night before you guys had to leave for your flight.
 When you opened the door in your sweatpants and messy bun, he still thought you looked beautiful. “Hey, I thought you would be asleep.” Rudy spoke up and you moved to let him in your apartment. “Yeah well, I guess I’m a nervous flyer.” You laughed to yourself, “do you want a cup of tea?” You asked grabbing one of your mugs. Rudy had noticed your book and mug in the living room when he sat on the couch. “I hope I’m not interrupting you” Rudy spoke up as you walked into the living room handing him a drink. “No, you’re not, I just figured I’d pass the time until I fell asleep.” You responded, the both of you sitting on the couch. “I didn’t know you’re a nervous flyer, what did you do when you had to come to North Carolina?” Rudy questioned. “Uh, I drove.” You shrugged like it was the simplest thing to do. “What, that’s like a 3-day drive.” He said baffled by your answer. “Well yeah, but it’s a good way to see the country.” You laughed thinking about the memories you made on the solo road trip. “And you did it by yourself? That’s badass Y/L/N.” Rudy said smirking.
 The two of talked the whole night away and you showed him pictures of your trip across the country and told him all the stories. Rudy thought that he could listen to you talk all night, even after he started to get tired. He finally excused himself from you place promising to sit with you on the plane tomorrow to ease your mind.
 You woke up the next morning with a sick feeling in your stomach and it only got worse at the thought of getting on an airplane. You got the rest of your last-minute things packed up and brought out by your door getting ready to meet everyone at JD’s car. You were the last to show up when Elaine shouted out to you. “I thought you weren’t going to show.” She spoke with a snarky tone, and Rudy nudge her shoulder getting her to knock it off. “Yeah, well I’ll probably be late to my own funeral.” You laughed trying to ease the tension. You guys all piled in the car and Elaine took the opportunity to sit next to Rudy and made you sit in front with JD, while Maddison sat in the back.
Elaine also had a thing for Rudy and didn’t enjoy you showing up to take his attention away. Everyone thought they were going to get together after season 1 but it never happened. Then you came along, and Rudy pulled all his attention to you. Elaine wasn’t too secretive about her hatred towards you, but you just brushed it off as a mild insecurity and jealousy. You weren’t angry that you had to sit up front but instead talked to JD and tried to ease some of your nerves. No one else knew that you were a nervous flyer and you preferred to keep it that way. Even though it was something simple, you were still embarrassed.
Once you guys got to the airport the nerves got even worse. Because of the pandemic you guys had to wear mask and you also had sunglasses on, so it was hard for people to recognize you guys. Rudy helped you carry your bag into the airport and then guided you to TSA. “Have you ever been in an airport?” Rudy asked whispering in your ear so no one could hear. “Uh once when I was little with my mom. We had to pick up my grandma.” You responded. Your eyes darted around to all the people and different screens and you started to get overwhelmed. Rudy could sense that you were started to get anxious and put a hand at the small of your back pulling you closer to him. “We’ll get checked in and then go get some air, okay?” He explained grabbing his passport and paperwork. You pulled yours out of your purse and laughed when he saw that you had everything in a little Ziploc baggy. “Alright, that’s the most mom-like thing I’ve ever seen” he said.
 Rudy helped you get through the process of security and then you guys were about to go outside when Elaine spoke up, “where are you guys going?” She asked almost annoyed of you guys leaving. “Y/N/N and I are going to find the bathroom. Safety in numbers.” Rudy fibbed, pulling you along. Once you guys got outside the two of you sat on a bench close enough to your gate that you wouldn’t have to rush when your flight got called. Rudy watched your body relax a bit when you weren’t stuck inside.
 “It’s going to be okay Y/N/N.” Rudy spoke pulling you to sit on the bench with him. “I know, I know.” You said half trying to convince yourself. “I’ll be next to you the whole time, and we can just talk, or you can read your book. It’ll be over before you know it.” He spoke and put a hand on your shoulder, and he could feel your breathing increase. He knew what was happening, you were about to have an anxiety attack, “okay Y/N, you need to take a deep breath.” He rubbed small circles on your back. “I can’t do this Rudy; I can’t be in that death box for over 11 hours.” You spoke and your voice starts to shake. You look over at Rudy and he’s got a concerned look on his face. He takes your face in his hands forcing you to look at him, “you’re going to be okay Y/N, I’m going to be with you the whole time. Nothing is going to happen, just please take a deep breath.” He spoke firmly but you could feel the softness of his hands. “You promise?” “Of course, I would never let anything bad happen to you.” You nodded your hands in his grip, but he didn’t let go and you could feel his hot breath on your face. Rudy was looking into your eyes and then his eye flicked down to your lips and you could feel yourself getting nervous again but this time it wasn’t the flight, but because of how close Rudy was too you.
 Rudy leaned in closer, and you let your eye flutter shut. You felt Rudy gently place his lips on top of yours and you pushed yourself closer to him to deepen the kiss. It that moment it felt like you were on cloud nine, as if it were only you and Rudy left in the world. Rudy pulled away and left you smiling like and idiot. “I’ve wanted to do that for a while now.” He whispered, and you kissed him again. “Me too.” The two of you giggled and then heard your flight get called. “Just remember, I’m here the whole time.”
When the two of you got back to the gate the others had already boarded expect for Elaine. When Rudy saw her, you could feel his grip on your hand tighten. “There you guys are, what took so long?” She asked seeming annoyed. “The just called for the flight, we’re not that late.” You spoke up, and Elaine rolled her eyes at you. “I saved you spot next to me Rudy, Y/N can sit next to Madison.” She explained pulling at Rudy’s arm. “Uh that’s okay, Y/N is kind of nervous so I said I would sit with her.” He explained trying not to be rude. Elaine scuffed, and the three of you boarded the plane. You were sat right behind Maddie, JD and Elaine, “here take the window seat, it’ll make it easier on you.” He said stepping to the side so you could get in. The flight attendant was giving the inflight instructions, explaining how to put the oxygen masks on and your leg started to shake. Rudy noticed and put his hand on your thigh, “it’s okay, they have to explain all this stuff Y/N/N.” He whispered in your ear kissing your cheek. You nodded in confirmation and soon enough the pilot was getting the plane ready for take off.
As the plane started to gain speed and lift in the air you watched out the window, and Rudy got you a drink of water for the flight. You guys had been flying for about an hour and you were looking out the window but Rudy’s grip on your thigh never left. He was talking to JD, when you guys hit some turbulence. You jumped and clung onto Rudy’s hand, “nervous flyer Y/L/N?” JD asked not missing the way you reacted. “I don’t know why she would take a job like this if she’s scared of flying. Kind of stupid if you ask me.” Elaine piped in making you feel embarrassed. “It’s not stupid Elaine, everyone is scared of something.” Rudy said defending you. “It’s fine babe, just a bit of turbulence.” He said and you blushed at the nickname. “Can we listen to music or something, I think I just need a distraction.” You asked, and Rudy pulled out his headphones.
“Thanks.” You spoke, not really knowing what to say to him, “I owe you big time.” Rudy laughed, “it’s no problem. When we get to Barbados you can self isolate with me if you want.” He responded. “I hope I’m not being to forward, but I’ve had a crush on you for a while now, and I’m going to assume you feel the same for me.” He explained. You did have feelings for Rudy, you always had but you kept your distance because you thought he had a thing for Elaine. “I would love too self isolate with you. it would be much better then doing it alone.” You said leaning in to kiss him. “And yes, I like you too.”
TAG LIST:
@lemur46 @drewstarkeysbitchh @taylathornton
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softluci · 3 years ago
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hello yes can i just say i l o v e d your gen z hcs and may i acquire more
for starters, i am not religious, but i am PRAYING you don’t think i was ignoring your ask. i’ve been thinking about it since i got it, it’s just that i’m a college student with worms for brains, so hopefully you understand. this is something that i’ve had on my mind for a long time [i’ve been at this on and off for months], and it most definitely can be associated with/attributed to gen z. 
for a fleeting, wonderful period of time, there was a trend on tiktok that went, “buss it, buss it…” are you familiar? 
that should be enough of a summary, right? ah—for future reference, “o7” is like a saluting emote, for anyone who might not know. reader is g/n as usual, enjoy!
[a/n: so because this is so long, this part is going to be, like, the lore, and then the actual headcanons will be right here]
trendy 
the two things most corrosive to the human spirit are easily named—capitalism and boredom. while it would be easier and less taxing to explain the former, the latter was the problem at hand. it’s not that there was nothing to do in the devildom—quite the opposite, actually—it was just that you wanted some time to yourself every now and again. the trouble with trying to take time for yourself in a completely new location, the residents of which are always enamored with you in one way or another, is that there isn’t anything to do. the house was full of adventures for you to take—the trap door under the rug in the library, the other trap door under the dining room table, the small door behind the couch in the living room, and whatever other poorly hidden doors your seven roommates thought you didn’t know about. 
trouble was, you didn’t want to leave your room. you, intelligent creature that you are, knew that the chances of you running into mammon or satan or beel or asmo were all too high, and even higher were the chances of you agreeing to spend time with them if they asked, and you knew they would. what were you to do? 
you stared at your ceiling from your bed, d.d.d. resting on your stomach as you let your mind wander. your d.d.d. was full of things for you to do, the devildom’s ethernet at your fingertips, but you weren’t interested in finding new things right now. you wanted something familiar, like—like your phone. 
what was the point of lucifer taking your phone, anyway? it’s not like you could use it—being here rendered it a useless brick of glass and metal, so it wouldn’t have been a big deal if you still had it. it was funny, though, that you couldn’t use your actual phone when it was still possible to access the human internet from down here. 
at least, you assumed so. 
how else would levi be able to keep up with his human idols, get tickets for their shows—the works, you know? luckily, you were fully capable of asking. 
d.d.d. now in your hand, you rolled onto your stomach and found your messages with levi, nails clacking against the glass as you tried to reach him.
hey, you texted, can you help me with something?
his reply came faster than you expected: ?? what do you need 
how do i access human websites and apps, you asked, rolling onto your side. you know how to, right?
lololol, it’s not possible :p
a grunt, more aggravated than you’d care to admit, escaped from the back of your throat.
don’t lie. 
a few minutes passed with no response, and you wondered if you were too harsh. 
“he’s a sensitive guy,” you mumbled, inhaling deeply. “i probably came on too strong or something.” 
just as you started typing out an apology and a, “forget i ever said anything,” you got a response. 
a vpn and a proxy site. 
a smile crept onto your face as air came out of your nose, the closest thing to a laugh you could muster. 
can you set it up for me? 
after another few minutes of no response, you sit up, wondering how you could’ve possibly fucked up a second time, your d.d.d. buzzed. 
levi sent you a file and a link, with a host of instructions. 
click on the file and it’ll take you to the vpn you need to download. don’t worry about bugs or anything, i made it myself. 
you let out a low whistle, flopping onto your back once more. 
“this guy gets up to more than i thought,” you said, eyebrows raised. “someone get this man some physical affection.” 
you continued to read, growing more fond of him with each sentence.
once you install it, pick the country whose network you want access to. from there, you’ll have a list of that country’s most used applications available for you. again, don’t worry about bugs. 
what’s the link for? you asked, excitement getting the better of you. 
for when you download internet applications. it’s added security, paste the link in before you search anything or you’ll trigger the firewall alarm. 
you blinked. 
you’ll trigger the what? 
i’ll trigger the fucking What? 
levi’s response was the fastest one yet: the Fucking Firewall Alarm. barbatos’ design. he has no idea i know how to bypass it. just do what i said. don’t try to solve any potential issues on your own, come to me for everything.
roger that o7, you replied, thanks levi ^_^
yeah, yeah. come to my room for a hxh binge tomorrow night.
you snorted. what a fucking nerd—in the greatest way possible. 
of course bestie :] ily
ily2 normie -_- 
in his room, unbeknownst to you, levi felt like he made a mistake of some kind. it’s not that he didn’t trust you, it’s just that you had a tendency to end up in undesirable situations, even if it wasn’t always on purpose. he was probably just worried over nothing, or so he tried to tell himself, but whatever. this isn’t even about him.
you sat up once more, this time leaning against your pillows as you started setting everything up. everything went so quickly that you barely wondered if all of this—subverting hell’s firewall, personally designed by a man eerily similar to a 2D crush from when you were in middle school—was worth accessing a few silly apps from the human world. 
a few minutes later, your d.d.d. now a much, much cooler copy of your phone, any and all thoughts of regret and hesitation were absent from your mind. 
your first order of business on your upgraded d.d.d. was logging into your tiktok account, however surprising it was that you even remembered the password. you put your headphones in and adjusted your volume, going back into the dumpster fire that is your for-you page with open arms. 
after around half an hour of stifled laughter and small, offended gasps from being targeted by the algorithm, you came across a rare dancing video. the person on your screen was in casual clothes, making minor, silly dance movements as the music dwindled, only for them to drop into a squat in time with the music, suddenly dolled up. you shot forward, taken aback by their transformation and by their dancing post beat drop. did you watch it on a loop for a few minutes? well, that’s nobody’s business but yours. you clicked on the sound in hopes of finding similar videos, and much to your relief, there were plenty. about ten videos in, a smile still on your face, you got an idea. 
you slipped your headphones out, arbitrarily looking around your room, before whispering to yourself, “i could—i could do that. i could totally do that.” 
and you were right. you had nice clothes and makeup from various shopping occasions with asmo. your room had led strips, courtesy of levi ordering the wrong ones and being so kind as to give them to you. you could do it. 
levi was the only person you’d spoken to since you retreated to your room a few hours ago, and the lights have been off the entire time, which meant that if you worked quietly enough, everyone else had reason enough to assume you were asleep. good! how could you possibly explain what you were doing getting all dolled up at, like, 11:00 on a wednesday night? you couldn’t, even a little bit—not in a way that convinced anyone, anyway. 
come midnight, you were sitting cross legged on your bed, watching your final product. not to be vain or anything, but you were looking very respectfully at yourself. since when could you move like that, anyway? the wonders of being alone, you supposed. 
you didn’t post it publicly, electing to save it as a draft just so it would save to your d.d.d. maybe you’d post it once you were back in the human world, when your friends wouldn’t swarm your comments asking where the fuck you were. 
yeah, lucifer told you, “everything was taken care of,” but regardless of whether or not you believed him, you knew it wasn’t a good idea to risk finding out if he missed something. 
boredom creeping up on you again, you elected to go through the messages on your d.d.d. it would be better to make yourself laugh before you were fully bored again, right? you stood up and stretched, opening the group text with the adults. luke doesn’t know about it; he thinks the one with everyone is the main one, and everyone lets him think that so he feels included. 
walking around your room in small circles, you scrolled up to the older conversations and read through them, rolling your eyes and chuckling to yourself. very rarely did they talk about anything of importance. it was mostly diavolo, barbatos, and simeon making quips and jokes at lucifer’s expense for everyone to see. it was gold in its purest form. 
you contemplated sending one of the many cursed things sitting in your camera roll, just to keep them on their toes, but just after opening your gallery, you resigned not to, figuring it would be best to leave him alone. 
you stretched again, the hold on your d.d.d. a bit looser this time. it nearly slipped out of your hands, but you caught it, tossing it onto your bed. as soon as you resigned to start getting ready for bed, you turned back around and picked it up. 
there was no rhyme or reason to your actions; if someone in that moment were to ask you why you did it, you would’ve said, “just ‘cause.”
human intuition is a wonderful thing.
your d.d.d. was still on, still open to the group chat. you’d sent something, evidently a second ago, as indicated by the time stamp. the thumbnail was of you, in casual clothing—the casual clothing you were wearing before you got dolled up, actually. huh. 
huh. 
the weight of your mistake came crashing down on you in full force, a chill sinking into your skin and running up your spine.
you were suddenly acutely aware of the concept of time, how it was of the essence and you had absolutely none to waste.
what were you to do? it wouldn’t be long before your favorite person saw it. you had to do something. 
you could say nothing. you could tell the truth and say it was an accident and that you were embarrassed, but that was even worse than saying nothing because it meant you were set to be the target of teasing you didn’t even wanna try to imagine. you could say it was an accident and be confident about it, telling them, “enjoy!” but that was a dangerous game to play, and you knew it. 
well, i do admire you for taking time to think, but, unfortunately, there was a checkmark next to your message. oh, a number as well—eleven. you just can’t catch a break. what were they all doing up at this time, anyway? it was a school night🤨. 
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badapricot · 4 years ago
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Lovely Writer: Special 1
This is a rough translation of the first Lovely Writer special. There are 8 in total and other side stories that the author compiled. I’ll try to post 1 a week since they do vary in length, and some are a lot lengthier than this one.
This special is from Nubsib’s POV and it’s about Nubsib remembering his feelings for Gene after seeing him on Facebook, and becoming fixated. Nubsib is 15 at the time and Gene is 20.
At that time, I was in the ninth grade.
Since middle school, my parents had sent me to study abroad with my brother. Because of the wealth of my family, this was never an inconvenience. But living alone in a place that wasn’t your home country required a lot of adjustment, mainly doing everything on your own. You had to learn things that you’ve never seen and known. 
This was one of the methods of teaching the sons of the Thanakitpaisan family.
It was their luck to have a son who was mature since childhood. It didn't take long for me to get used to the culture there, where I went to parties, attended sports clubs, worked a part-time job, and even had typical American teen sex. Being Asian did give me some advantages, when it came to distinguishing myself from the others.
I could only smile when talking to the many blonde women who bragged about our experiences in bed, amongst their group of friends. After some time, I felt differently about it.
"Sib.”
"Yes?" I leaned back on the sofa, and raised my head from his screen when I heard my name.
Neung came downstairs. He was wearing a thick gray cardigan with a scarf. "I’m going to go meet a friend. You're not going anywhere today, right? "
"Hmm."
"Okay, I might be coming back late. Please get my package when it arrives. You’re not going out with your girlfriend, right?”
"We broke up.”
"Huh?” Neung frowned. "You dumped another one? Again? You know, you don’t have the face of a womanizer.”
"…"
Neung opened the door of the house. For a moment, the cool outside air blew in, until the hot air from the heater disappeared. I didn’t care much about either, and stayed looking at my phone screen.
I’m not a womanizer.
It’s just that every time I got together with a girlfriend, something felt wrong. I knew I wasn’t in love with the first girl. The others, I didn’t like particularly much. Sometimes the girls didn’t like me much either, and only wanted a partner themselves, so we’d eventually separate.
It was true, that I was only in the ninth grade. But sex here was too normalized. It had become so normal that I’d become bored. When sex became so commonplace, all excitement was lost.
Mom: (send picture)
Mom: I’ve sent you Thai ingredients that should be delivered soon. They’ll be waiting for you.
Mom: Today, I went to see Aunt Run, do you still remember the house next door? Today is the Aunt's birthday. All of her sons have come home.
Mom: I saw it and I missed you and Neung.
I looked at the message that popped up, from the other side of the world. It was dark here, but over there it was probably in the middle of the day. It was time for them to eat.
Mom: Do you remember Gene? Gene and Jap are all grown up.
Gene?
After reading my mother’s message, it was natural to think of the past. I missed it. During my childhood I would run and play with him everyday, and just the same, Gene would play with me almost every day.
I still remembered “P’Gene” clearly after all these years.
We were five years apart. But we somehow became closer than me and my own brother. Since I moved out of the house, we never saw each other again. We didn’t have any more contact with each other.
When my mother talked about that time, I felt nostalgic.
I moved my finger to type to ask for a picture from my mother. In the end, I sent a simple sticker. I sat on the sofa in the living room for awhile before retiring to my bedroom to shower.
In my warm bedroom,  so different from the night air outside, I picked up my phone again. I went to Facebook to catch up with everything back home. My finger kept scrolling through my news feed, my face blank. I started to feel sleepy, but before I could fall asleep I saw a status.
I wasn’t friends with the person who posted. But I was friends with his mother, who was tagged in the photo.
Jap Jarernpipat posted a picture.
This year, my mother has lost another year, haha.
In the picture was a group of six people. The background was a wide garden and a long table. Both of my parents, and Auntie Run and Uncle Teep were there. But the one that most caught the eye was the man in the lower right corner.
The other person grinned until his eyes were crescents. His hands were raised, flashing a peace sign. His hand held a cake tray with a delicious golden egg. The corner of the mouth was stained with white cream, like he was teasing someone. He was smiling, which made his cheeks round and full.
I couldn't take my eyes off of him. For a second, there was a strange numbness in my fingertips and toes.
I didn’t need anyone to tell me who that was.
P’Gene.
He was still wearing a white uniform shirt. It had been many years since we’d met, if counted by age. Gene would have been in university for three years.
Usually, I was the kind of person who didn’t care about the people around me, or anyone else. But this time, I couldn't control my fingertips. I clicked onto Jap’s Facebook page.
Chasing him down, I found a status posted with the person I was looking for tagged.
Jap Jarernpipat posted a picture
My brother brought me to the movies. What kind of crazy alien movie is this? I might puke, but maybe you guys on Facebook will like it.
The post was from three days ago. One was a picture of a cinema ticket on the top floor of a department store in the heart of Bangkok and the other was of P’Gene in a T-shirt and jeans. He hugged a bucket of popcorn. His hand was holding a large glass of water, lifting it up to his lips and sucking. It was a funny candid photo that many of his friends on Facebook commented on to make fun of him.
...but for me, the only word that came to mind was “lovely”.
I didn’t know why I was doing this but I pressed “save that image”.
Jap Jarernpipat posted a picture
My stupid little brother, you make the whole house look bad.
They were in a garden in the corner of the house that felt familiar to me, but was a little fuzzy. They were in front of a flower bush that had been trimmed into a square. Gene was sitting down, with his butt on the ground. A blue hose fell next to him, the hose spraying in another direction. It made him wet all over soaking his shirt, the thin material clinging to his body.
Both of his arms were behind him, to support his body. Therefore, his shirt and body were stretched, so I could see two small nubs contrasted and poking through his white shirt.
My eyebrows furrowed together, and I frowned.
I cursed when my body immediately had a strong reaction, just from the one picture.
I pressed the comment section, when I saw the high number of comments.
Jiranon Jarernpipat: Jap stop posting pictures of other people.
(Reply) Jap Jarernpipat attached video clip.
I clicked play immediately.
"Ow, P’Jap!”
“Hahaha, why would you say you’ll help me water the plants? You can help if the grass is dead.”
“Can you turn off the water for me first? Why are you recording?”
P’Gene raised his white hand. He wiped the water from his face, and pushed himself off  the ground. His shirt clung to his body, so I could see everything. He had the voice of a man, but he was still so cute.
Finally, the clip ended.
There were still a lot of other videos that Jap posted pranking Gene, all of which stopped me from becoming bored. I saved all of them to my phone and computer. In the end, when more and more accumulated, I created a whole separate folder.
That night when I fell asleep, my brain was filled with pictures of the boy next door, who I hadn’t seen in years.
Another morning, days later, I woke up frowning, and I had to gently breathe out. I’d dreamt of P’Gene again. Since seeing that picture that night, there hadn’t been a day where I could go without seeing his face.
I knew Gene’s Facebook. But he didn’t update much, except to change his avatar or cover photo. But Jap’s Facebook page had tons of pictures of Gene. So I was still able to look at Gene’s pictures and progress in life everyday, like some kind of psychopath.
Even when I closed my eyes to sleep sometimes, I still saw his pictures.
I didn’t want to be this way, but I couldn’t control my subconscious.
I always saw Gene lying in my wide bed. He would smile at me, his cheeks soft and reddish. His hands would hold on to me, and his mouth would gently say, “Sib.”
It was a fantasy that any teenage boy would have. But it wasn’t a woman. Instead, it was the boy next door, who always loved and saw me as a brother.
I circled back to look at his pictures every day. In the end, the feeling accumulated like a huge mountain of snow.
I want to meet him in real life.
I want to hug him.
I want to smell him. 
I want to kiss his mouth. I want to do to him what I do in my dreams.
Since the day I saw his picture and until today, my thoughts and feelings had become more and more intense. So intense, that sometimes I was afraid of myself.
I’d already decided how I’d deal with this.
“Will you finish school here?” Neung had packed all his bags and was ready to go because he finished his studies. I leaned against the door frame, looking into his room.
“Actually, it’s nice here too, you know.”
"No, I'm going home."
“So you’ve changed your mind then?”
I nodded.
“Well, our house is nice and of course, our parents miss you too.”
"…"
"I'm not going to be here anymore, don't bring any women into the house...but you're not dating any girls lately. So it's fine."
I sent off my brother, who took a taxi straight to the airport to go back home to Thailand. Personally, I still had a year to complete my studies.
In the past, I had never thought or worried about how fast or slow time would pass. But now, I felt jealous of my brother.
Back at the house, I picked up the phone. I was still for a while. Maybe it was because Neung had returned to Thailand, but I felt like chasing pictures wasn’t enough anymore. My fingers moved before I could decide to send a message to someone.
Nubsib tanagijpaisarn: P'Jap.
Nubsib tanagijpaisarn: Do you remember me?
I wanted to talk to someone who could tell me everything about P’Gene. 
I wanted to learn everything about him.
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